Day 11

I'd be lying if I said that the last two weeks have been easy.

But as 'they' say about most everything, there are levels to this.

Working out every day has proven to be the easiest part of getting back on track. I was an active kid, played sports in high school, got seriously into weightlifting in my twenties, and even had stints as a pro wrestler and the amateur fight game. Pardon the pun, but working out again is just muscle memory.

I've adopted a program that comprises three different workouts. Day 1 is shoulders, biceps and back. Day 2 is chest, triceps and forearms. Day 3 is leg day. I begin each routine with the treadmill - anywhere from 15-20 minutes, depending on time. I go for 2 minutes of warm-up before going high-intensity for the duration, and allow for a 2 minute cool down period at the end. Next comes crunches; I try to do this immediately after the treadmill. One super-long set, increasing reps every 3 days. I then move into circuit training; no break in between each exercise, and a 1 minute break after completion of each circuit.

Those first few days were brutal - everything hurt! The first week of doing this, I had to pop a couple ibuprofen just to get to sleep each night, and again to get through each morning. The pain from my first leg day didn't go away until my rest day - 7 days in! But that initial soreness from pushing inactive muscles has already dissipated; now I'm back to feeling just the 'good' pain from working my muscles with an effective exercise routine.

Meal plan adherence has definitely been more challenging than working out, but overall still not that bad. I am a student by my nature, and over the years I've learned a ton about proper nutrition. I'm really just putting back into practice what I've not exercised the discipline to do over the past year (and - minus my prior journey - the 7 years before) that placed me into this current unfit predicament).

I am switching a few things up, though. It's odd only eating 3 meals a day while working out, as I'm a big proponent of controlling nutrient absorption, cravings and blood insulin levels with 5-7 mini-meals. However, I also know that success can be had via this method, and I don't want the added burden of spending that much time not only planning but eating. Besides - 3 squares is working just fine right now, and I can make adjustments at a later point in time if it stops. There are some days where my eating times aren't precisely at 7AM, 12PM and 5PM. One or more meals may get pushed back a bit; by and large, though, I try to be a stickler for no calories at night. I really believe that's a huge contributor to my successes, past and present.

Balancing my fitness goals and family life has been the most challenging. Valentine's day consisted of me taking the wife and kids out to eat, but not dining with them. I have to plan for long shopping excursions by either eating before or packing food for the road; I've yet to rely on food that I didn't have a hand in preparing so as to know exactly what I'm getting. There are no more weekend shots or cocktails with the wife after the kids are in bed; no more cold beer to relax after work. Alcohol and its empty calories are a definite no-no this early on. I'll partake again somewhere down the road, but now is not that time.

Because of my more focused and condensed workout sessions, and less time doing meal prep, I am spending more time with the wife and kids when I'm home. And because the wife and I have had intense, honest talks about it over the first few days, there is a bit less tension than when I undertook this fitness journey a year ago.

Keeping a journal helps. Talking about it helps. Continuing to be a student of exercise and nutrition helps, as does talking to like-minded people. My wife started her own fitness journey several months ago, albeit decidedly less hardcore than mine... That helps, even. But there are still days where something affects my psyche, and the temptation to break the routine seems irresistible, and my goals insurmountable. So far though I've been able to talk myself off of those ledges and stick to the plan.

So, no - it hasn't been easy. Things aren't perfect, but they are getting better.

And honestly, they're getting better and better every day.

Full Circle

Falling off the wagon is easy. Getting back on it? Not quite.

Where to begin?  Maybe with how it all ended...

I was constantly hungry, despite eating 5-6 meals a day. I was a jerk - my testosterone was heightened from lifting weights twice a day...  I wasn't eating meals with my wife and kids anymore... I was spending most of my nights locked away, working out, or doing meal planning.

I was absentee without meaning to be, which caused the fam to get all bent out of shape, too. And, at the end of it  all, I did not fundamentally address the issues that I have with food, and the issues that those issues stem from.

This time, I started from a place where I look at food differently, with the understanding that this will take time and a reprogramming effort on my part.  I'm trying to establish more of a balance between my goals and my family - even if I can't sit at the table with them always, I can be more present in their lives when I'm home.  I workout more intensely for shorter periods, and on a more set schedule. I don't lock myself away in a room with free weights and a treadmill - they come and interact with me without fear of me biting their heads off.

It's too early to tell how it's going though. My energy is up; I'm sleeping better. I can feel my muscles, despite them being buried deep in body fat. My scale won't even weigh me - I estimate my starting weight in excess of 330 lbs again (bathroom scale won't read that high), which means that every single bit of my progress has been erased. I know that I've already begun dropping weight, but I made a promise to myself not to even think about stepping on a scale again until at least 3 months in.

So here's to losing your way, then finding your way back. May 11th can't come soon enough.