If you're so inclined, find me on Instagram and Twitter! I've been making an effort to post daily on one or both of them; mostly about food and/or training, naturally 😄
Sunday marked my 4th routine change, per the muscle periodization program that I employ to maximize my conditioning efforts. I'm still exercising the same muscle groups on the same days, but with a totally different set of movements than at any time before. And, as was the case after the routine changes that I'd made in the previous training phases, my muscles were wholly unprepared, and I struggled mightily - precisely the types of results that I'm after!
Four week intervals definitely seems to be the sweet spot when it comes to shaking my routine up... Long enough to improve in the various lifts and exercises, but not so long as to allow my body to adapt to the workload - which diminishes the intensity of the workouts.
Two days from now is 'weigh day' - the first time that I will have weighed myself since the effort to reclaim my fitness recommenced. My starting weight was 330 lbs; I'm really not sure what my new weight will be.
The idea of stepping back on the scale brings with it a host of complicated emotions, all intertwined and almost indistinguishable from one another, save for an overall awareness of the gravity of the moment. Excitement, apprehension, anticipation, doubt, curiosity, worry - no one feeling really stands out from the others; there is no purity of thought, no singularity as it relates to what this might mean to me once it's done.
The words don't even begin to properly convey what I'm feeling - what I've been feeling for the last couple of weeks, for that matter - as this milestone draws ever closer. So, I won't waste any more energy on trying to make sense of it... I'll just experience it, and what will be will be.
Three days from now is the 8th Annual Trent Holt 5K in Pulaski, TN. I registered for this event back in mid-April, as a means to challenge myself to push towards my fitness goals in a way that I haven't done before. Paying the registration fee (even though it was only $20) was me making an external commitment - not just me making a promise to myself, but something greater than that. It has pushed me to run harder, longer, and more frequently than I have at any point in the last 20 years; not even when I was in better shape did I run more than I do now!
For the most part my body has held up, which to be honest is a bit of a shock. I've always had occasional episodes of knee tendinitis and, after my extreme weight gain over the last 10 years, infrequent issues both with ankle soreness and with plantar fasciitis. While I've had very brief flareups of all of those maladies, they've been quite manageable - even more so than when they occurred in the past when I was very fit! It makes zero logical sense, but I suppose it has to do with the fact that my nutrition is the best that it's ever been, along with the fact that I incorporate lots of mobility training into my daily routine - something that I didn't really understand or see the importance of way back then.
Mentally, I'm in a strange place. Despite my diet being ultra-clean, despite strictly adhering to all the guidelines that I set for myself, I still find myself struggling with the weight of my own expectations. I'm having to remind myself constantly that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm encouraged by all of the the progress that I can see and feel. And yet still, there is something that I cannot quite find the center of, and it causes me mental and spiritual unrest. Whether it's a longing for that which hasn't yet arrived, or for something that was lost along the passages of time - I just don't know.
My savior has been the process - the grind, the consistency, the fresh set of challenges that I'm meeting head-on, every minute, every hour, every single day; for now, the process is keeping whatever that indescribable feeling is from bubbling over.
Suppression is better than nothing, I suppose... But I'm hoping that, as I continue along this journey, I may one day discover the cure.
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