And I break at the bend

August has been a challenging month. I've spent much of it in maintenance mode, with slightly lower activity levels and less hardcore adherence to dieting. It's been good for me health-wise, and I've still managed to improve my fitness level - even if the progress is somewhat marginal when compared to the previous months.

I've finally relented to my wife's request that I replace my now ill-fitting wardrobe. Goodbye 48 waisted pants, hello 36s as of this weekend. Shirts will be getting replaced in the coming weeks, I suppose... Well, most of them, anyway.

I was under the weather to end last week, and missed 3 days of workouts for the first time since I began this all in February. Truth be told, I probably shouldn't have run Friday - it felt like it set my recovery from whatever I had back at least a couple days. Running again this morning and keeping up the pace as though I hadn't missed a beat was fantastic, and reaffirms that slacking off a bit this month is better for my long-term health and fitness goals than if I'd burned myself out trying to push through, knowing I needed to recharge.

Next week I'll begin a new weightlifting routine. I'm excited, but I'll miss my current program at the same time.  One thing that I can say about this month though is that I've probably had the best musculature gains of any so far this year.  While I attribute a lot of it to the workouts of the past 4 weeks, the extra calories and relaxed cardio program definitely played their parts, too.

I'm really ready for the fall weather to arrive... Assuming that it does, that is.

Changing Seasons

For around 3 week now, I've been coasting.

For 5 1/2 months prior, my foot was on the gas and the pedal was floored. But for a multitude of reasons, towards the end of July, I made the executive decision to chill out for a while.

Alcohol. White bread. White rice. Lots of takeout. Lots less exercise.

I didn't get out of shape. My life didn't fall apart. I lived a little, as the saying goes.

It was needed, so I did it.

But sometime last night, in the middle of a dream, that old, familiar voice spoke up very clearly, and told me that it was time.

So this morning I got up, food prepped today's meals (around 1100 calories), ran a mile and a half, knocked out 500 crunches, and got my mind set on being below 200 lbs by  October 31st.

Let the games recommence.

Older and Wiser

This past weekend I celebrated my 41st birthday. I made it a point to relax my diet and workouts a bit; we went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner Saturday, and I enjoyed the leftovers for breakfast on Sunday. I also ate KFC for lunch on Sunday - mostly chicken breast, for what it's worth.

I did cardio both mornings, but skipped my evening workouts. I also consumed quite a few beers over the course of that stretch (6 of them were light beers at least), so I definitely made the most of of the occasion. Given the high calorie intake during this period, though, I put a halt to all of that at around 2:30 pm Sunday afternoon, and fasted until after my run and workout Monday morning.

The weekend signaled the end of the 4-week training phase that I'd been on, so I allowed my body a complete reset in order to begin a challenging new weightlifting regimen. So, getting fully back on the wagon, I had a really good morning run through the countryside yesterday, followed by ab work... Lots of walking activities throughout the day... And I closed things out with a great run on the treadmill, more ab work, and a new back and shoulder workout . I'm pretty sore this morning, so it was effective to say the least. But I'm feeling recharged and ready to continue the excellent progress that I experienced in July all throughout the month of August.

My last time weighing was the 27th, the day before my birthday, and I weighed 217. I don't think I put on too much water weight and bloat during my indulgences - still in the last belt loop of my pants, and I look the same in the mirror. I also purchased a new scale this weekend - one that can purportedly measure your body fat percentage and a host of other BMI-centric metrics. I haven't used it yet, and don't plan to until likely sometime around mid-August.

I still have every intention of getting down to 200 lbs by this Halloween. I feel that's a completely realistic goal, barring anything unforeseen. I'm not sure when I was last that lean - it's easily been at least 12-15 years. I stopped keeping track in my late 20's, after a car wreck derailed a stretch where I had good muscle mass and very low body fat; sure, I'd been stronger and more buff than that previously, but I don't know that I'd ever been that ripped before.

My plan of attack remains the same: 1) Meal plan, 2) listen to my body, and 3) crush each and every workout and activity like I've something to prove.  That approach has gotten me this far - I see absolutely no reason to switch it up now.

41 years young in 3 days!?!?!

Physically I'm feeling really good right now. As I continue to intuitively cycle my daily calories and macros, there are definitely some days where my energy level is higher than others, but it never drops low enough to prevent me from attacking my workouts and staying very active throughout the day... And it's really helped my metabolism stay primed to burn fat, which continues to be my primary focus.

I haven't been ramping up the weights on most of my lifts like I did earlier in the month, as this four week phase is near it's end and my routine's about be shaken up again. I'm focusing alot on the quality of each rep instead of how much poundage I'm tossing around, which will hopefully benefit me when I ask my body to do something completely different starting next week.

The temptation to get on the scale every morning is huge, but it just isn't a productive habit at this point in my journey as far as I'm concerned.

I do plan on doing a weight check the morning of my birthday (this Saturday), right upon waking. I anticipate that I'll allow myself one indulgent meal (within reason!) at some point that day too - I feel that I've earned as much, and don't plan on being too hard on myself over it 😁

The Blueprint Part 1

Lots of questions lately about the methods that I've employed to achieve the fat loss success that I've had over the past 5 months. Putting it all here to clarify my own thinking on it as much anything else.

In the coming days/weeks, I plan on assigning priorities to each, depending on the stage that a person is at in their journey (i.e. out of shape and just getting started on a major weight loss program vs. pretty fit and just trying to lose a few lbs.)

• Consistency
• Low carbs, but nothing crazy like some
• Little/no refined carbs (white bread, white sugar, white rice, etc.)
• A lot less meat
• Little/no processed foods
• Smallish portions
• Intermittent fasting (I usually eat all my meals in an 8 hour period each day, with my caloric cutoff usually at around 3 pm)
• Fasted cardio first thing each day on an empty stomach.
• Weight training each night.
• Drink only water
• Little/no caffeine

This is just my own personal set of rules - they may not necessarily be for everyone. But I can unequivocally say that I swear by the effect that following them have had on me.

More to come soon.

100 lbs in 147 days

This morning, the very moment that I rose to consciousness, I knew that today would be the day.

I stepped on the scales at 230 lbs; the low side of 230 actually, as a couple of the dozen times I weighed myself it read 229.

I'm still processing how I feel right now.

This has been a mile marker that I've been anxious about. At least part of my mind was willing to believe the lie that it would never happen, regardless of the discipline and effort that I'd put forth. Another part had the unrealistic expectation that it would arrive even sooner than it did, or that it would be accompanied by an even more profound physique transformation than what has actually occurred.

I've got the Deftones self-titled album playing in the background - this is my soul music - and I'm just trying to have clarity about everything; not just my journey, but literally everything in my life... Lots of very strong emotions flowing through me that I don't quite know what to do with.

I DO know that I'm going to go on a nice, long run soon, before it gets too hot out. When that's done I'll work abs, then hit a few yoga flows before I decide exactly how I'll break my fast and refuel.

I've wanted this for so long, but the road ahead on this weight loss journey is potentially much longer than what's behind; I feel like I need to take stock and sight see, but I know that I better not pause and revel in it too long lest I break my stride.

God bless it... I just don't even know, dude. I really don't.

Back, but never really gone.

I admit it - Instagram has become my go-to for posting about my progress.

I never meant it to be that way, but it's been great for communicating with like-minded folks who've either been through or are currently going through the same things that I am.

Weight is down to 233 (weighed Sunday because I just felt like it) - just 3 lbs away from 100 lbs lost since Feb 11th!

Workouts and eating have been going really good. I've had some vacation time to unwind and relax, but I've maintained steady weight loss during the duration of my efforts.

I bought a pull-up bar. I haven't really pushed it, but I was able to do one clean pull-up last night. Will be shooting for 8 dirty ones - when I work out my back and shoulders tonight.

Speaking of workouts - Phase 6 begins tonight. Would have stated last night but I spent over an hour putting together the pull-up bar.

I'm going to start posting here more frequently, and get back to developing this blog more. It's something I started when I began this, and I don't want to neglect it.

Day 102: Starting Over, or a New Beginning?

It's now been over one hundred days since I decided to reclaim my health and fitness through consistent dieting and exercise.

Over one hundred days of tracking everything that I eat and drink, every minute of exercise, every hour of sleep. I've made significant progress, and I feel better about myself than I have in a long time - better than I did at any point during last year's journey.

I've introduced a few more higher-calorie days to my nutrition plan in order to help my metabolism stay high. It's a tricky balance to get that right; I do my best to listen to my body my instincts - so far that formula seems to be working.

Last Friday I weighed 249 lbs; that's an 81 lb weight loss! I've decided that I won't weigh in again until June 11th, and that my target weight at that time will be 230 lbs. It's an aggressive plan to try and lose that much weight at this point, given how progress is bound to be that much harder now. Still, nothing venture, nothing gained; if nothing else, having that as a goal will push me to give my all into making it happen.

When I came up with the weightlifting regimen that I've been using throughout this process, I only plotted out 16 weeks worth of workouts. And, seeing as how I'm now in the midst of week 15, I find that I'm undecided as to how I'll proceed after next week.

The question is, do I just reset and start the whole thing all over, or do I blow the whole thing up and try something completely different? Considering that I'm already doing a new routine with each subsequent phase (4 week stretches), I would likely continue to make steady gains in musculature and strength by doing the former.

Doing something entirely different is intriguing, but I have concerns about moving away from circuit training due to the fact that it's super-efficient, and gives me an extra cardio and fat-burning boost - both of those are paramount to my fat-burning efforts.

I've become somewhat addicted to running as my primary means of cardio. I get in an average of 45 minutes a day, split between morning and nightly sessions. It really burns fat like nothing else, but it's definitely more stress on my body. The mobility training that I do helps (as does ibuprofen), but there are still days where I have to slow it down a bit to allow myself some extra recovery time. I'm also toying with the thought of regularly competing in 5k races. It would definitely provide some added motivation to reach my fitness goals; but truthfully, motivation hasn't really been an issue at this point.

Someone asked me the other day if I can ever see myself relaxing my diet and exercise efforts at some point after I reach my target weight. The answer to that is an emphatic 'no'. I know that this is how I should have been eating and training all along; had I never have gotten lazy all those years ago, I wouldn't even be in the predicament that I find myself in now!

The life changes that I've made feel sustainable; I'm eating a wide variety of delicious food, I have the energy to do just about anything that I wish to do, I still have ample time to spend with my loved ones, and I avidly pursue several hobbies in my 'me' time. Were my life out of balance, I might think differently; as it is, though, I can't imagine life without the pursuit of better health and fitness.

Even if I'm doing the exact same things 10 years from now that I am today, by my estimation I'd be happy, healthy, and perfectly content.

Day 90: 76 lbs in 90 days!

Progress! But much work left to do.

I'm pleased, but not satisfied. Proud of what I've accomplished, but very aware of the goals still remaining on that far off horizon.

I will likely begin doing more frequent weigh-ins. I just don't want to be a slave to the scale like in my previous efforts, which absolutely destroyed my belief and confidence. I'll have to figure that out.

Time for some fasted cardio before my work day begins.

Here's to the next 90 days... And whatever it may bring in the way of progression.

Day 88: 'To be someone better the next day than I was the day before'

If you're so inclined, find me on Instagram and Twitter! I've been making an effort to post daily on one or both of them; mostly about food and/or training, naturally 😄

Instagram

Twitter

This week I'll traverse a few important waypoints along the passage through my weight-loss journey.

Sunday marked my 4th routine change, per the muscle periodization program that I employ to maximize my conditioning efforts. I'm still exercising the same muscle groups on the same days, but with a totally different set of movements than at any time before. And, as was the case after the routine changes that I'd made in the previous training phases, my muscles were wholly unprepared, and I struggled mightily - precisely the types of results that I'm after!

Four week intervals definitely seems to be the sweet spot when it comes to shaking my routine up... Long enough to improve in the various lifts and exercises, but not so long as to allow my body to adapt to the workload - which diminishes the intensity of the workouts.

Two days from now is 'weigh day' - the first time that I will have weighed myself since the effort to reclaim my fitness recommenced. My starting weight was 330 lbs; I'm really not sure what my new weight will be.

The idea of stepping back on the scale brings with it a host of complicated emotions, all intertwined and almost indistinguishable from one another, save for an overall awareness of the gravity of the moment. Excitement, apprehension, anticipation, doubt, curiosity, worry - no one feeling really stands out from the others; there is no purity of thought, no singularity as it relates to what this might mean to me once it's done.

The words don't even begin to properly convey what I'm feeling - what I've been feeling for the last couple of weeks, for that matter - as this milestone draws ever closer. So, I won't waste any more energy on trying to make sense of it... I'll just experience it, and what will be will be.

Three days from now is the 8th Annual Trent Holt 5K in Pulaski, TN. I registered for this event back in mid-April, as a means to challenge myself to push towards my fitness goals in a way that I haven't done before. Paying the registration fee (even though it was only $20) was me making an external commitment -  not just me making a promise to myself, but something greater than that. It has pushed me to run harder, longer, and more frequently than I have at any point in the last 20 years; not even when I was in better shape did I run more than I do now!

For the most part my body has held up, which to be honest is a bit of a shock. I've always had occasional episodes of knee tendinitis and, after my extreme weight gain over the last 10 years, infrequent issues both with ankle soreness and with plantar fasciitis. While I've had very brief flareups of all of those maladies, they've been quite manageable - even more so than when they occurred in the past when I was very fit! It makes zero logical sense, but I suppose it has to do with the fact that my nutrition is the best that it's ever been, along with the fact that I incorporate lots of mobility training into my daily routine - something that I didn't really understand or see the importance of way back then.

Mentally, I'm in a strange place. Despite my diet being ultra-clean, despite strictly adhering to all the guidelines that I set for myself, I still find myself struggling with the weight of my own expectations. I'm having to remind myself constantly that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm encouraged by all of the the progress that I can see and feel. And yet still, there is something that I cannot quite find the center of, and it causes me mental and spiritual unrest. Whether it's a longing for that which hasn't yet arrived, or for something that was lost along the passages of time - I just don't know.

My savior has been the process - the grind, the consistency, the fresh set of challenges that I'm meeting head-on, every minute, every hour, every single day; for now, the process is keeping whatever that indescribable feeling is from bubbling over.

Suppression is better than nothing, I suppose... But I'm hoping that, as I continue along this journey, I may one day discover the cure.

Day 77: Temporarily Pacifying

Week 11 begins tomorrow. One more week until my workout routine changes again!

Intermittent fasting is now a daily occurrence. Prior to this week, I mostly did it on the weekends - mainly out of both comfort and convenience. Doing it all the time feels instinctual for some reason, so I'm gonna roll with it.

My first meal is typically at 7am, and my calorie cutoff is now 3pm instead of 5.  The times may fluctuate a bit on off days and weekends, as I try my best to sleep in a little when my schedule allows it. I'm still eating the same number of calories and macros; still eating the same number of meals, and the same types of foods. It's not always easy, but I've stuck to it.

I continue to see physique improvements; drops in body fat and increases in muscle size and density are both contributing factors. I can now comfortably wear jeans that I haven't been able to fit into in who knows how long. I've also had to buy a new belt; it felt like a moral victory of sorts, and besides - it just isn't practical to punch a second new hole in the old one, which I'll keep around as a mile marker of sorts.

I've also made significant cardiovascular improvements as a direct result of ramping up my cardio sessions a few weeks ago; the reason behind that being that I registered for and will participate in a 5k race taking place on May 12th. Aside from supporting a charitable cause, the preparation for the event gives me yet another fitness goal to achieve. Last Saturday's practice time was 44 minutes; I feel better mentally and physically prepared this week, so hopefully I can improve upon that.

Not gonna lie - it's tough. Also, there's been a noticeable drop in the energy level that I've had for weight lifting. The workouts themselves have been great; it's just been much harder to summon the required intensity to make them that way. Given that I'm not yet at the point where I'll want to take in the calories that would accompany a pre-workout concoction, the only two things that I'm willing to address it with are trying to consistently sleep more each night and/or what I consume during my allowed calorie intake window.

Formulating an idea and acting on it only amounts to one half of a good success plan; equally important is learning how to to adjust on the fly.

Day 67: Breaks that Make You

My daily routine is a critical component in my drive towards achieving my fitness goals. But, as ardent as I've been in my pursuit of those goals, a few things that happened recently have reminded me how a bit of spontaneity can be equally important to my success.

On the weekend signaling the end of Week 8 and the start Week 9 - in celebration of my wife's birthday - my family and I packed up the car for a long weekend, and spent 3 days on the beaches of Florida. I wasn't aware of it at first, but it was just the respite that we all needed.

For them, it was their first 'real' beach experience; however, we all got to take in the beautiful scenery, get plenty of fresh air and exercise, dine on spectacular seafood, and spend lots quality time together as a family. All-in-all, it was the perfect disruption to the grind that life in a family of 4 (particularly with two young children) can sometimes be.

We brought along enough of our healthy snacks to make sure that we'd always have 'plan approved' foods on hand. We also did our research beforehand, and took advantage of the the culinary options that allowed us to stay mostly on track. But for the first time in this current journey, I did relax my diet just a bit.

My guilty pleasure of choice? 4 slices of meat lover's pizza from a regional chain.

To be honest, I didn't even enjoy it for that long...  The way that stuff made me feel a few hours after eating it was NOT worth the price of admission. And my wife - who's been my partner on this meal plan for the past 6 weeks - felt the exact same way. We couldn't get back to eating healthy soon enough!

After returning from vacation at the start of Week 9, I switched up my weight training routine again. Simple changes; swapping one set of movements for others. Replacing barbell presses with dumbbell presses, and vice-versa. Going from bench-presses to push-ups. Going from free weight movements to cable movements in certain exercises. It may not seem like a lot, but when incorporated into the exercise philosophy that I've been employing for the past few weeks, it introduces the much-ballyhooed 'muscle confusion' that you hear so much about. The proof is in the results; there are few things more rewarding and encouraging than the soreness I feel the morning after a taxing workout, and making musculature and strength gains on a weekly basis.

Week 10 has me feeling as though I've been on this path for much longer than a couple months. So much has changed in the way that I think, look and feel during that time frame. From habits and behaviors, to getting reacquainted with my body's physical potential, I simply can't understand why I ever stopped doing this in the first place.  Part of what I hope to accomplish isn't just addressing the deep-seated psychology that nurtured the unhealthy habits from my distant past, but also what allowed those same habits to reform after years of dormancy.

Less than a month now until weigh-day. My re-dedication to fitness just happens to have coincided with several friends and acquaintances who've embarked on weight loss journeys of their own; some with the help of surgery, others who've either gone keto, paleo, or some hybrid between the two. My success will be made manifest regardless... But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm eager to see how my own weight loss results stack up against theirs.

Day 55: Mental Gymnastics: Combating Melancholy and Discouraging Words

The effort of pursuing any worthwhile endeavor is about producing a desired result. And while we can exercise great control (often more than we realize) when it comes to said result, it's equally important to realize those things that we must simply accept.

It's the end of week 8, which means that it's time for my muscle periodization training to cycle again. Sunday night will bring about a new weightlifting routine, so that the results keep coming as my muscles are forced to adapt to the unexpected rigors they'll be put through. I'm still working out the specifics, as I'm torn between returning to the movements from the first 4 weeks and trying something completely different. There's a good chance I'll combine the two ideas - we shall see.

I've bumped up the intensity level for my early morning and nightly cardio sessions, and for my hourly activities at the office. At work, I try to do a minimum of 250 steps an hour (thanks for the reminders, Fitbit); sometimes it's just walking across the building and back, but I also take advantage of the workout room by getting in some table tennis or jumping on one of the treadmills. For certain, it's a lot of little things, but it all adds up to big results.

No real changes to my diet over the past eleven days. I continue to explore new recipes (the best of those I'll be adding here) which helps cope with the small portions. On weekends I do intermittent fasting as my schedule allows, but by and large I'm simply adhering to the same food restrictions that I imposed at the onset - very low carb/low GI/low fat foods. I purposefully didn't count macros as closely during the first six weeks or so, but I've begun paying a bit more attention to them now as I expect the weight loss to begin slowing down a bit.

For the record, my 8-week average has been around 1,000 calories a day. I don't see that as being sustainable in the months to come; at some point my body will adapt, and my metabolism will slow. When that happens, I'll have to spike my daily intake and reduce my cardio levels to hit the reset button - that way, I should be able to continue progressing towards my ideal weight and fitness goals with minimal disruption. I have begun adjusting my caloric intake in 2 day cycles to address fluctuations in my energy level, but even then I never take in more than 1,400 calories in a single day.

Some days this all seems as easy as breathing, while other days it is a great struggle. Temptation to cheat on my diet or to miss a workout haven't been super-frequent, but they're present enough to provide the proverbial pitfalls that I must be wary of. I've been able to stay focused on the big picture when times are tough - remembering where I've come from, how I got here, and where I want to be. Visualizing the positive results that continued dedication will render is sometimes the only thing that gets me through.

Most of the obstacles that we encounter are a product of our own imaginations, and can be overcome with the right mental approach. Similarly, negative thoughts and opinions - whether from your own psyche, or from the mouth of others - are only as loud as you give them the power to be.

Be at peace with the fact that, though we may surround ourselves with loved ones and try to cultivate a positive, healthy environment in which to live our daily lives in, you are the lone catalyst for your success. You may receive guidance, encouragement, and sometimes even a bit of assistance, but whether or not you reach your goals is determined solely by you, and you alone.

No amount of wanting someone else to invest as fully as you do in your personal journey will make that desire a reality. Be prepared to go it alone, if that's what the situation calls for. You won't be poorer from the experience unless you quit on yourself, so don't ever give up!

Day 44: Perseverance and Progress

The saying that 'tough times don't last, but tough people do' is fine and all, but there's a whole lot more to it than that.

Most of us are just trying to find our way, whether we realize it or not. And in my opinion, just the act of trying - in and of itself, in spite of what challenges we're faced with internally and externally - amounts to a degree of toughness.

For that very fact alone, we should always remember to give ourselves some credit.

Week 7 began yesterday with a brisk morning walk, along a route that I haven't traversed by foot in over a decade. Taking in the scenery triggered a series recollections from the past, and I allowed myself a fleeting glimpse back into that rear-view mirror. It was short-lived, though, and when I broke my reverie I was overcome with a great sense of relief; instead of sentimental thoughts about my youthful past as is typically the case when I daydream, I felt empowered by the transformative actions that lay along my current path and future paths, happier by great measure to be here instead, in the here and now. 

Because I'm a lot more comfortable with my calculations as it relates to food values and how my body is responding to them, the last week and a half has seen me greatly expand the variety in my diet. I've been buying a much wider selection of produce and meat alternatives, and I've been eating considerably less of my go-to staples, like chicken, broccoli, and salads. It's been a wonderful transition; mealtime has been more of a pleasure than at any point in this process, and it's allowed my wife and I to reconnect over food in a way that we haven't in years.

With a healthy mix of anticipation and anxiety, I'm still looking forward to May 11th; that'll mark exactly three months since I set out again on this path towards ideal fitness, and it's the line in the sand that I drew with regards to my first weigh-in. As much as I don't want to hang my success on the numbers that the scale will display, I'm inherently curious as to what those numbers will actually be.

Based on the increasing looseness in all of my clothes, I know that I'm progressing at a good rate. Family, friends, co-workers and neighbors all remark on how well I'm doing. It's appreciated; and while I can see and be happy with how far I've come, I remain acutely aware of precisely how much more I expect from myself in the coming months and years.

Performance-wise, I tend to focus mainly on the strength and endurance gains that I've made, but my flexibility has increased substantially over the past couple months, too. I didn't really set any goals for this area of fitness when I started, but seeing how much more mobility I have in my shoulders, hips and ankles, I've now set challenges for myself to push through to the next plateau with respect to these measurables, too.

Difficult situations are part of the fabric of our lives, taking different forms, finding different ways to potentially impede our progress. That is an inescapable truth that we must all combat.

Where we stand to differentiate ourselves from the pack comes in how we respond.

Day 33: “Sooner or later, everything old is new again.”

Week five is halfway over. Thirty-three days in - no cheating, no missed workouts; I consider that to be a series of small victories along the path towards winning the big one.

The biggest challenge over the last couple of weeks hasn't been the dieting or the workouts; it's been overcoming negativity, both external and internal. The mental gymnastics that it takes to navigate the minefield that is sometimes my life consumes a lot of energy, and I don't particularly like it.

Changes are inevitable; how things change remains to be seen.

On a less morbid note, the dieting and workouts have been pretty fab. Still eating three meals a day, still adhering to the 5pm hard cutoff, with very few exceptions. Had a 6pm meal once in order to sit down with the fam - wifey and I had meatless 'pulled pork' on gluten-free rolls with sweet potato fries, while the kids had burgers and curly fries. My wife has been on board with my diet plan for the past two weeks; it helps having her along for the ride. She's already seeing and feeling changes even without working out, but plans to begin an exercise routine of her own in the coming days.

I switched up my weight training this past Sunday. Still doing a circuit of exercises, repeated 4 times each session; six days on, one day off (Saturday), but with completely different upper body exercises. The principles are rooted in powerlifting movements; deadlifts, benchpress, and squats. Given the addition of two additional barbell movements, I converted a few others - military presses, bent-over rows and bicep curls - to their dumbbell counterparts. It's kicking my ass something proper - and I wouldn't have it any other way, quite frankly. Not sure if I'll revert back to the previous movements after four weeks of doing this, or if I'll try something else... Guess I'll use the time in between to determine how that all shakes out.

The changes that I expect to see by this point are all here; my face is visibly slimmer, my pants fit more loosely, my physical endurance continues to increase, while my resting heart rate continues to drop. I'm more energetic, and I'm motivated by these results to push myself even harder during my workouts, and to remain strictly within my dietary guidelines.

As for the negativity that's been bubbling up within and around me? Well, I guess I'm gonna have to meditate on that, and remain positive that I'll overcome it.

Onward.

Day 22: Tracking, Trusting & Trying

Another two weeks in the books; time really does fly when you're having fun.

I'm reticent to write on the subject as I don't want to jinx myself, but I'm in a groove, and in the best way possible. Everything seems to be in balance, and I'm finding more enjoyment in the day-to-day, moment-to-moment events of my get-fit lifestyle than I can recall having before.

Personally and professionally, I'm in a better place mentally now than I was a year ago. I feel much more grounded with regards to my plan of action, my desire and willingness to put the proper work in, and in the results that I expect to achieve. And an added bonus to being decidedly less stressed out by this experience is the quality of sleep that I've had the past 3 weeks; that's been tremendous, and has helped with my clarity, focus and energy levels.

My workouts have been going great. Better than great, really - they've been awesome. I've been progressively increasing reps and/or weight cyclically. I'm able to push myself much harder as each week passes, to the point that I've begun the preliminary work of developing my Week 5 - Week 8 routine so that the strength and stamina gains keep on coming.

I began doing early morning cardio sessions again during Week 3. That makes two cardio sessions a day, every day. I still cycle the same routine mentioned here, and Saturday is still my off day from weight training. The routine is fire - it's definitely a better weight training routine than any I employed during  my efforts from a year ago. But, as with all things, I know its effectiveness will wane if I don't change things up sooner rather than later.

I've been religious with my food and workout journal; it provides greater accountability, as literally all the work I've put in is right there when I'm adding to it throughout the day. Every calorie, every rep, notated with time and detail. I also purchased a fitness tracker. I flirted with the idea of using one last year - maybe it would have helped me stay on track, maybe it wouldn't have made a difference at all. So far it's been a welcome addition to my own personal tool chest, and I recommend that those who are looking to improve their own health should at least consider getting one.

I've been eating on schedule and making all the right choices. The closest that I've come to a cheat day wasn't really even cheating at all; I made breadcrumb-free crab cakes during Week 3. The only indulgent part of it was a bit of mayo in the cake mix and a bit more for a spicy remoulade sauce accompanying them.

For three weeks now I've had no beef, white potatoes, white bread or white rice. I've eaten a ton of fresh fruits, veggies, and unrefined whole grains; lots of chicken and meat alternatives (meatless sausages and burgers); a bit of lean ham; and seafood two or three times a week to fill in the gaps. I've also been sticking to 3 meals a day, no snacks in between, with a hard calorie intake cut-off at around 5PM.

I've still got a long while left before I step on a scale again; that's been difficult, given how results-oriented an undertaking like this can be. But I recall too clearly how it felt to weigh myself every morning, and the frustration when the numbers on the scale didn't look the way that I wanted them to. I made a promise to myself at the onset of this renewed effort not to have a repeat of that experience; I'd simply embrace the daily grind, and the journey - not just the destination - would also be the reward.

Onward.

Day 11

I'd be lying if I said that the last two weeks have been easy.

But as 'they' say about most everything, there are levels to this.

Working out every day has proven to be the easiest part of getting back on track. I was an active kid, played sports in high school, got seriously into weightlifting in my twenties, and even had stints as a pro wrestler and the amateur fight game. Pardon the pun, but working out again is just muscle memory.

I've adopted a program that comprises three different workouts. Day 1 is shoulders, biceps and back. Day 2 is chest, triceps and forearms. Day 3 is leg day. I begin each routine with the treadmill - anywhere from 15-20 minutes, depending on time. I go for 2 minutes of warm-up before going high-intensity for the duration, and allow for a 2 minute cool down period at the end. Next comes crunches; I try to do this immediately after the treadmill. One super-long set, increasing reps every 3 days. I then move into circuit training; no break in between each exercise, and a 1 minute break after completion of each circuit.

Those first few days were brutal - everything hurt! The first week of doing this, I had to pop a couple ibuprofen just to get to sleep each night, and again to get through each morning. The pain from my first leg day didn't go away until my rest day - 7 days in! But that initial soreness from pushing inactive muscles has already dissipated; now I'm back to feeling just the 'good' pain from working my muscles with an effective exercise routine.

Meal plan adherence has definitely been more challenging than working out, but overall still not that bad. I am a student by my nature, and over the years I've learned a ton about proper nutrition. I'm really just putting back into practice what I've not exercised the discipline to do over the past year (and - minus my prior journey - the 7 years before) that placed me into this current unfit predicament).

I am switching a few things up, though. It's odd only eating 3 meals a day while working out, as I'm a big proponent of controlling nutrient absorption, cravings and blood insulin levels with 5-7 mini-meals. However, I also know that success can be had via this method, and I don't want the added burden of spending that much time not only planning but eating. Besides - 3 squares is working just fine right now, and I can make adjustments at a later point in time if it stops. There are some days where my eating times aren't precisely at 7AM, 12PM and 5PM. One or more meals may get pushed back a bit; by and large, though, I try to be a stickler for no calories at night. I really believe that's a huge contributor to my successes, past and present.

Balancing my fitness goals and family life has been the most challenging. Valentine's day consisted of me taking the wife and kids out to eat, but not dining with them. I have to plan for long shopping excursions by either eating before or packing food for the road; I've yet to rely on food that I didn't have a hand in preparing so as to know exactly what I'm getting. There are no more weekend shots or cocktails with the wife after the kids are in bed; no more cold beer to relax after work. Alcohol and its empty calories are a definite no-no this early on. I'll partake again somewhere down the road, but now is not that time.

Because of my more focused and condensed workout sessions, and less time doing meal prep, I am spending more time with the wife and kids when I'm home. And because the wife and I have had intense, honest talks about it over the first few days, there is a bit less tension than when I undertook this fitness journey a year ago.

Keeping a journal helps. Talking about it helps. Continuing to be a student of exercise and nutrition helps, as does talking to like-minded people. My wife started her own fitness journey several months ago, albeit decidedly less hardcore than mine... That helps, even. But there are still days where something affects my psyche, and the temptation to break the routine seems irresistible, and my goals insurmountable. So far though I've been able to talk myself off of those ledges and stick to the plan.

So, no - it hasn't been easy. Things aren't perfect, but they are getting better.

And honestly, they're getting better and better every day.

Full Circle

Falling off the wagon is easy. Getting back on it? Not quite.

Where to begin?  Maybe with how it all ended...

I was constantly hungry, despite eating 5-6 meals a day. I was a jerk - my testosterone was heightened from lifting weights twice a day...  I wasn't eating meals with my wife and kids anymore... I was spending most of my nights locked away, working out, or doing meal planning.

I was absentee without meaning to be, which caused the fam to get all bent out of shape, too. And, at the end of it  all, I did not fundamentally address the issues that I have with food, and the issues that those issues stem from.

This time, I started from a place where I look at food differently, with the understanding that this will take time and a reprogramming effort on my part.  I'm trying to establish more of a balance between my goals and my family - even if I can't sit at the table with them always, I can be more present in their lives when I'm home.  I workout more intensely for shorter periods, and on a more set schedule. I don't lock myself away in a room with free weights and a treadmill - they come and interact with me without fear of me biting their heads off.

It's too early to tell how it's going though. My energy is up; I'm sleeping better. I can feel my muscles, despite them being buried deep in body fat. My scale won't even weigh me - I estimate my starting weight in excess of 330 lbs again (bathroom scale won't read that high), which means that every single bit of my progress has been erased. I know that I've already begun dropping weight, but I made a promise to myself not to even think about stepping on a scale again until at least 3 months in.

So here's to losing your way, then finding your way back. May 11th can't come soon enough.

Weight Update

On the morning of January 25th I weighed 251 lbs.  Progress - ever-slowing progress, but I'll take it.

Temptation is like a torpedo.  And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

My increases in strength, muscle mass and conditioning are coming at an ever-increasing rate, though - I'll take that, too.

I've upped my carb intake a bit, and I'm currently only doing carb reduction after days where I didn't eat as cleanly as I'd liked to have.  It's helped with my energy levels - definitely getting more from my workouts than at any point previously.

The allure of going keto still isn't enough to make me want to adopt that approach.  The results look fine and well, but I'm not sold on the potential long-term repercussions.  And until I basically stop getting results doing what I'm doing, I'm going to do my best to stay on my current course...

...Torpedoes be damned.

Onward.

New Workouts vs. Time Tested Training

Last weekend I signed up for a 12-week fitness challenge via a leading health and fitness website, hoping that it would provide additional fuel for me to stay focused and motivated in the new year.   The site hosting the challenge offered a plethora of services and tools to help competitors achieve their best results, including what seemed like a hundred different workouts - many of which are branded by well-known (and some not-so-well-known) experts in the fitness industry.

After several hours of searching, I found a 4-week routine that, at least at first glance, seemed to be both a good fit for my own personal fitness goals and more than capable of helping me compete as it relates to the aforementioned contest. The deal-maker for me ended up being that the program was branded by a trainer who just so happened to be someone whom I admire, and had watched extensively on YouTube.

I began the program in earnest on Monday, with high hopes and the expectation that I'd have my ass handed to me directly.

I was right, but unfortunately, in the absolute worst way.

The routine, while challenging, wasn't worth the time or effort that I spent researching it - much less the injuries incurred from what I believe to be an ill-conceived, poorly thought-out series of movements. I've been nursing an injured back and knee for the past few days that's damned near incapacitated me. Despite the pain, though, I still managed to stay active and gut out my scheduled cardio and weight-training since then (thank you, ibuprofen).

Weigh-in on the 25th will be interesting... Clothes still getting loser, but I'm visibly gaining muscle mass - possibly a few pounds a week, which would more or less equal the rate of fat loss I'd been averaging before I stopped getting on the scale every morning.

Hopefully this long weekend won't bring too much temptation my way. Time to go take a hot shower to ease these aches and pains.