Long day

It's just after midnight.

Woke up to a sore back that compromised everything for the first 3/4ths of my day.  I believe it was due to the perfect storm of living through my injury, yesterday's streneous back workout, sleeping poorly, and today's humid, damp and rainy weather.

Through lots of stretching, some dead hangs, and mobility work, I was relatively pain-free and mobile again by the time the sun set. So I got 10k steps in and crushed a leg workout.

Now that I've showered, finished my gallon of water, and have time to reflect as I wind down before heading to bed, I can say that I definitely didn't think I'd  accomplish this much given how the day began. I almost talked myself out of doing anything, but in hindsight I'm so glad that I pushed through and showed up - both for myself, and for my health.

Keeping my eye on the prize, and one small victory at a time is the only way to win.

The hunger

I generally don't get hungry anymore. I greatly enjoy eating, but something about the way I'm managing my nutrition and exercise has resulted in me simply eating for performance and function, on a set schedule, with little to no exceptions.

Tonight has been one such exception.

I want something else to eat so bad that I can barely stand it. It is so intense that I can't tell if it's actually physical or just mental.

I have had my calories. Hit my macros. There is no reason to eat anything else. I just want it, like you wouldn't believe.

I've put in 10k steps and a hard lifting session in the hours since dinner. Just chugged a bunch of water, and now I'm laying here, watching (people cooking on) YouTube, trying to get sleepy, romanticizing what I'll eat around noon tomorrow.

This isn't so much willpower as it is just remaining locked in on the big picture. But damn - is that hard to do right now.

Reset mindset vs. stsying the course

I weighed this morning what I should have weighed yesterday.

I didnt exercise myself to death, or starve myself.

I just stuck to the plan, stayed disciplined, and got a better night of sleep than has been the case in a while.

Lots to do this weekend. Hoping to keep the momentum going.

Weekly weigh in

3lbs down.

Should have been more.

For the first time in a while, I managed to lose a bit of weight consistently every day... Until this morning.

Made a big breakfast burrito with bacon, eggs, pork sausage, fried potatoes, and a ton of cheese. Then, as if that wasn't enough, I used a sauce from a restaurant that I couldn't account the precise calories and macros for, and had some tortilla chips on the side. I thought my math was mathing, but I'm guessing that was a 200-400 calorie swing in the wrong direction.

So from yesterday to today I gained a pound and a half, vs losing another half pound. That is a likely 2lb swing; so, instead of making up for last week, I'm still a bit behind where I need to me to remainbon my weight loss schedule.

It sucks. Pretty disappointed in myself overall. But I will adjust, I will keep at it, and I will persevere.

Job's not finished. Let's get it done.

The long and winding road

Got the diagnosis.

The recommendation is surgery, but I can continue to try and heal as I have been, and see how it goes from there.

I have lost 12lbs in the last 30 days; slightly off schedule by a pound, but I can accept that progress as a good thing for the most part.

I tightened up on a few things over the past 5 days - being more mindful of my calorie limit, weighing food more often, and estimating less. But my sleep is a mess (still) and I really want to get my step count closer to pre-injury levels.

I expect a return to form on this week's weigh-in, barring a disaster in the next two days. We shall see.

Weekly weigh in

2 lbs down.

I struggled again this week. Not making excuses, or being ungrateful for my continued and consistent progress, but this wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough.

I had 2-3 days where I was quite literally at the tipping point of falling off vs. maintaining my efforts. Lost focus, not keeping sight of my long-term goals. I felt fragile, deflated, and borderline defeated. Too many calories, not enough movement. I kept up with my protein goals, water goals, took my vitamins, but the fire wasn't there for a heightened effort like it had been.

It was a single moment when the fog cleared, and I came back to my senses. I'd had my pity party, my mental break, whatever it was - but now it was time to get my shit together and go back to work.

If I overate for meal 1, then it would be my only meal that day. If I didn't lift weights, I would double up the next day so that I kept on schedule going forward, even if I had to go up till midnight.

I grinded my way through thst sticking point, and it reminded me that those small battles are what wins the war. I remembered how I genuinely relish those moments once I'm in them - the trick is making sure that you show up for the fight.

I feel a lot more like myself again. I still have many challenges, but I'm going to face them with that fire burning hot inside me - not cowering in the face of my own mortality, waiting for my turn to die.

1 lb above of my monthly weight goal on one scale, 1 lb below it on the other. It is a pity, but Im still making progress that is quite substantial. And the job's not finished.

Let's GO

The Fight

I'm making steady progress in the midst of an epic struggle. And it is taking a LOT out of me mentally and physically.

I have been struggling to stay on top my cardio and sleep routines because of my injury. It severely hampers my mobility, and it makes laying down comfortably dang near impossible at times.

Those two being compromised has thrown my eating off, which in turn affects my energy and focus, particularly when its time for me to do resistance training or mobility work.

I'm adjusting on the fly, trying to work my way through this rough patch. Pushed some workouts to different days and times, been less active, still trying to eat mindfully, take my vitamins, drink my water... But I'm not nearly as in a grove as I was a couple weeks ago.

I'm still on track from a weight loss standpoint... But I do have concerns as to how long that will remain true if I can't get a few things resolved.

I've got an MRI today, but the follow up appointment isn't until next week. Answers should be coming,  but staying the course in the meantime is taking me out.

Nothing and everything

1 month ago, I weighed 15 lbs more than I do today.

Many doctors would rather give you a shot that you will need monthly to manage a condition that hasn't even been properly diagnosed than for you to take more tests to find out what's actually wrong with you. It's about money for them.

2 months ago, I weighed 28 lbs more.

Fitness isn't a 30 day program or challenge. Those are launching pads, not the entire experience. We don't become unfit overnight, and we won't get fit overnight.

I am beginning to believe. Truly believe.

Eating for the goals you want to pursue isn't miserable unless you are shooting for an extreme result as quickly as possible. Once you accept a longer timeline, eating can still be something you enjoy greatly.

Time is a tool, and a teacher, and a blessing, and a thief.

Struggle, by design. The rewards are almost always worth it.

Weigh Day

2 lbs down.

But, as a net calculation (holistically - not strictly a scale-centric measurement), this was the WORST week since I've been on this current run, which began in May.

I am injured, and the American medical system is broken. I am mentally and emotionally at my wit's end as it relates to dealing with stressors that, quite frankly, I should not have to deal with. There are situations that I am managing, both for myself personally and for others, that are just taking the piss right out of me.

The collective impact is hitting me pretty damn hard right now. It feels like too much. And it all feels to have come to a head at once. It's affecting my focus and my ability to remain steadfast and resolute in this fitness effort.

I don't have a means to unburden myself. And I don't trust anyone enough to lean on other people to help me through it all.

So what happens now? It's simple.

I'm going to do what I realized a long time ago was the only way to get through anything that I'm facing.

I'm gritting my teeth. I'm putting my head down. And I'm going straight through the barriers standing in the way of me getting to where I need to be.

Fuck this week. Not only am I still standing, but I'm fired up and ready for war.

LFG

Playing hurt

Major injury setback this week that I'm trying to work through.

Not going to speak on it and give it power, but I have struggled greatly - both mentally and physically.

Might not hit my weight loss goal this week.

I haven't missed any resistance training sessions. Have had to change up some exercises, and daily step counts have been greatly reduced.

It sucks. But I'm not letting it beat me.... Stay tuned.

Abundance abounds

I will always choose my own health and my own sanity.

I will not be defined down by others' inability to manage their own thoughts, situations, or intentions.

I will pour from my vessel, as I am able, to the vessel of those who need it.

I will not empty, greatly deplete, or pour needlessly from my own vessel.

I am more than my past.

I am more than someone else's perception of who I am.

I will not abide misrepresentations to take hold or affect me; such occurrences will simply create permanent and profound distance between myself and such parties.

I am and will continue to be present and attentive to those things which move my spirit, and I will give no more than a passing thought to that which doesn't move me forward.

Weekly weigh in

3 more pounds down.

I wasn't nearly as on point as normal this week and still managed to stay on track, because I was consistently hitting most of my daily 'must do's' and not letting small things derail the process.

I had burgers. A ton of cheese. Too much bread. Cheesecake. Chocolate. Fried chicken. Things I have made it a point to avoid or at least limit to once in a blue moon.

Not overt amounts of any of those things, but more of them than I've had in the 3-4 months prior - just in a week.

Slacked on steps compared to the standards I have established, too. But kept lifting hard, and still got enough steps in to be considered 'very active' - i.e. to burn fat and improve my fitness.

Shared that in the name of transparency and accountability. It was more of the 80/20 rule some love to adhere by, whereas I've been 100/0 - 95/5 since May.

It was cool to see that relaxing my rules didn't thwart my progress, but that experiment is over.

Back to being more hard-core.

Burn the ships, as the saying goes.

Lets. Effing. GO.

The groove is deep

It wasn't exactly a neat and tidy return to the routine...

Even after recovering from my bout of tummy trouble, I wasn't getting up at 5am. Wasn't getting my supposedly non-negotiable 20k steps. 

Still got in my protein, water, vitamins, and resistance training, but sleep was poor.

Today I got up early, despite not getting enough sleep. Got an early start to cardio and steps, and just hit 20k. Ate one big meal at midday, but won't eat again till midday tomorrow. Still crushed all the other must-do's. And laying down before 10pm.

So yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm back.

Squashing bugs

Been dealing with an upset stomach since some poor choices this weekend.

No, not alcohol - just bad food choices.

On the one hand, I hit my protein goals. But it was countered by too many calories, too much saturated fat, too many carbs, and too much sugar in general.

I've gotten decent steps in but nowhere near my standard amounts. I've cleaned up my eating mostly. And as hard as it was to get going I lifted weights just now - way late but better than never.

Tomorrow I will get my groove back. I believe I've gotten over the funk now... At least I hope so. It took some of the wind out of my sails but I still motored through.

Consistency wins again. Can't stop, won't stop 

Weigh Day

Down 3 pounds this week.

I didn't have my best week overall. Poor sleep, some high-calorie meals, lower step count, and stress.

But I came out the other side having kept up with most things - no missed resistance training workouts, hitting my water goals, hitting my protein goals, and still getting at least some daily cardio and mobility work in.

This is a long-term process, and I'm still tracking towards my long-term goals.

LFG

Pro Tip

Control cortisol, don't let it control you.

And don't let your elevated and unchecked cortisol levels cause you to introduce undue stress to your loved ones.

Carry on.

Rest day

I reached another weight loss milestone this morning, then promptly got in 70+ minutes of cardio.

For my 1st meal at noon, I had 2 slices of pizza + a big green salad topped with some sliced chicken breast.

For dinner I'm working on a big pot of carnitas, some yellow rice, and refried beans. Not sure if I'll eat all of those things, or have a protein shake and some type of healthy carbs.

Not really ready for the weekend to be over, but im prepared for it nontheless.

Weekend Update

Woke up today a pound lighter than yesterday.

Had errands to run early. Came back and got in 74 minutes of steady state cardio in the blazing sun. Stayed on top of my water. Drank some electrolytes. Took my vitamins. Getting my steps in.

And I ate the damn baked egg bites, chicken breast, and green salad. And today, they were delicious, and all that I wanted.

I will finish my gallon of water. Crush a leg workout later. And have something high protein, nutrient-dense, and with moderate carbs and calories for my 2nd and last meal of the day.

This is how I've been winning. And it is how I will reach my goals.

LFG

Choices and resilient adaptations

I wanted to try a new-ish place today; they had an interesting menu and I didnt necessarily want baked egg and spinach bites, chicken breast, and a green salad again.

I got a burger that was made from 2 8oz patties, what felt like six strips of bacon, and a truck full of produce. Served with a boatload of in-house made potato chips.

It was awesome, but I estimate it was around 2300-2400 calories, conservatively. So right then and there I decided to enjoy it fully, and that it would be my only meal today.

I got 24k steps in. Took my vitamins. Drank my gallon of water. Crushed a back and triceps workout. Did an hour of mobility work. And enjoyed the heck out of my one meal.

Wont be doing that again anytime soon, but I am at peace with both my choice to do it, and the way that I adjusted to accommodate my choice and stay locked in on my goals 

Weekly Weigh-in

4 more lbs down.

About to cross another milestone.

LETS GO!!!!

Grinding on

I did a fridge cleanout today, in the sense that I ate the leftover takeout that no one wanted anymore. Ended with around 1400 calories for my 1st meal, so my post workout 2nd meal was just a protein shake made with some coconut sugar and fruit.

Under calorically for the day, didn't get my normal big bowl of greens in, but I hit my protein totals and dont feel like a failure... So that's a win in my book.

Water on point. Steps on point. Resistance training on point.

Sleep is meh. A couple days overdue for a full on mobility training session as well. But I'm still improving each day, so again, I'll take that vs. the alternative.

Numbers

It is easy to get caught up with the various numbers associated with the effort of becoming fit or maintaining fitness. And, with that, it is also easy to lose your way due to fixating on the numbers that matter less in the grand scheme of things.

Especially when starting out, seeing the number on the scale dwindling downwards motivates us, feeds our sense of accomplishment. But when things slow down and the weight loss gets tougher, we often become disappointed, discouraged, and lose perspective.

We lose traction in the larger war that we're fighting with ourselves by obsessing over a perceived lost battle.

The goal of getting fit and/or maintaining fitness is a life change based on multiple decisions that power a steady effort, day after day, across months and (preferably) years. You may have goals to reach, but there is no finish line - the pursuit is, by its very nature, ongoing. If the point is to be your best, then the idea is to work at it even after you've hit your target weight or fitness level.

Even on the days where you don't hit your step count, or don't increase your rep count, or don't nail your macros, but you still show up and make an effort, you are winning the race. You are outpacing the version of you that didn't want to put the work in. You are forging a better version of you than if you hadn't done those things to make yourself more fit.

That is progress that won't always show up on weigh days, or in the mirror, or with a set of calipers.

Regardless of what the voice of self-doubt may whisper in your ear, don't stop or give up - push yourself forward. If you don't have much to give, then give yourself enough grace to be OK with doing what you can, however little that may be, and realize that it is enough.

You may find renewed strength after you get things underway, but you'll never know until you take that first step forward.

Just keep moving forward, and don't ever, ever give up on yourself.

You are worth it.

Weigh Day

4 more pounds down.

Monthly weight loss target reached, and just barely.

It's been one of the worst weeks in recent memory, due to a close family member having an emergency health issue that's required hospitalization.

My schedule has been impacted, I've been stressed, and my sleep has been poor. I missed a workout on Wednesday when it happened, only got just over 10k steps in, and had Chinese takeout that night.

But I didnt fall off a cliff. Instead, I've rebounded.

Despite everything that happened that day I still made some good choices. Getting in as many steps as I did (10k is more than most people). Eating reasonably well for my 1st meal (eggs, a bit of brisket, rice cakes, peanut butter, and an apple). And my takeout choices that night were respectable, given the circumstances; over half of my plate was veggies, I had lots of protein, the carbs were moderate, nothing was deep fried, and the overall portion size was reasonable.

Daily calories ended up being higher than was ideal, and I felt as though I'd let myself down with the lack of exercise. But this is a marathon, not a sprint.

So yesterday I got 22k + steps in. Did 2 weight training sessions - morning and evening - to get back on track. And I ate at the very bottom end of my caloric allowance to make up for the transgressions of the day before.

I got up at 5am to do my first hour of cardio, but after a few minutes went back to bed. I knew my body needed that extra 2 hours of sleep before my workday started, and boy was I right.

After getting up a second time today, having weighed in and hit my target weigh, I'm ready.

Ready to get my steps in, ready to have a solid day of eating, ready to crush another workout tonight. Ready to deal with the stresses of everything that's happened this week.

Ready for the weekend.

Ready to hit another weight loss target next month.

LFG.

Struggling

3 nights of too little sleep is kicking my ass.

Workouts have been awesome this week. Getting to 20k daily but barely. Water intake steady. Eating has been sketchy - upper caloric range too many times.

Discipline needs to resurge if Friday's weigh in is gonna go well.

So This Is What It's Like?

I got 8 hours of sleep last night.

Precisely. 

Took about 9 hours to get it, but I got it.

I started my day with a hundred minute, just over 5 mile walk... Now I'm mowing the lawn.

I feel superhuman.

Is this normal? I don't have enough data to know if it can wholly be attributed to the sleep... But I'm gonna try it again and see if that is indeed the case.

I ate dinner prior to lifting weights, which was also not part of my normal routine. I had a sandwich for three meals in a row (chicken salad for dinner night before last, a burger yesterday 1st meal, a blackened chicken sandwich yesterday evening) - but I still didn't exceed 100 carbs on either day.

I am confounded. But let's see how this plays out by day's end.

Stubborn

I still got over 20k steps on this damn tracker, which puts my actual total at approximately 28k for the day.

Yay me.

Weekly Weight Check

Down 3 lbs this week.

Happy with that, especially given that 4 of those days were spent vacationing and relaxing the rules a little bit.

There is a dark cloud over today, though: my tracker battery died just as I started my morning cardio. Roughly 7k steps and 60 min of activity unaccounted for, which is a pity.

But the work still got done - knowing that will have to be enough.

I think there is a lesson in there that applies to more than just fitness metrics...

P.S. the pesto chicken salad and homemade bread was AMAZING. That is all.

Back in the Saddle

Day 2 of being fully back home from vacation. First day back at work in nearly a week.

I ate 100% on plan yesterday, albeit at the upper end of my calorie restriction. Got 20k steps in. Drank my water, took my vitamins Trained legs - almost died because they are still sore from walking along the beach so much.

Didn't get the best night of sleep (5.5 hrs), but I had a nap yesterday afternoon so maybe its not as bad as it seemed at the time.

Got up at 5:30am this morning and did my hour of fasted cardio. Kept the calories on the lower end for my 1st meal (at noon); eggs, turkey sausage, cottage cheese, an apple, rice cakes, and a few figs).

Already over 20k steps for the day... And I hit all of my other non-negotiables, same as I have done without fail for two and a half months plus now. Nearly done with my gallon of water.

About to train chest, shoulders, and biceps.

I made a pesto chicken salad that's chilling in the fridge, and a homemade bread boule that's cooling on the counter. Will make a sandwich and a green salad for my post-workout meal, which I'm very much looking forward to.

Weigh day tomorrow morning. Expecting another 2lb weight loss, just like last week. Wish it would be more but I'm doing this the right way, so its fine.

Gonna take time - a lot of time, and staying the course - to get where I want to be.

I might be ok, afterall

I went on vacation for the past 4 days, and still managed to lose a pound.

I stuck to intermittent fasting. Did fasted steady state (zone 2) cardio for 1 hour to start each day. Drank at least a gallon of water each day. Ate lots of protein (around 150g daily).

But I ate too many carbs/calories, got too little sleep, and missed 2 days of strength training.

I still got a ton of exercise in, between walking along the beach, playing in the gulf, and just plain ol' existing in the ridiculous heat. My legs are tight and sore in ways they haven't been in ages from tons of miles slogging through sand.

I had some amazing meals. Rainbow trout, redfish with creole cream sauce, an amazing triple stacked burger, spectacular street tacos, fresh icecream, a massive amount of sushi, and SO MANY FRENCH FRIES lol.

All of that while still managing a 24 hr fast in the midst of all that eating and the aforementioned activity?  Just crazy!

It ended up allowing for some relaxation of what has been a super strict regimen without letting the wheels fall off.

It wasn't all out of scope, though - I personally cooked the trout meal (with local fresh caught fish from a nearby grocery store), and I cooked eggs and turkey sausage one of the days for a meal. I got in some green veggies, fresh salads, etc. with a few meals as well. And everything was mostly whole foods based and pretty clean. That counts for something, right?

We got back last night, but I decided to shower and go to bed early vs. lifting weights. I knew I wouldn't catch up on sleep any other way, and it was worth it. 8 1/2 hours, and I feel good this morning.

Off from work today so I'm easing into things. Time for cardio, then a shower, a bit of a fridge clean out, and some meal prep.

Happy that I took some time away, but happy to be home now.

It finally happened

I did not lift weights yesterday.

Got a lot of steps. Climbed stairs. Spent a ton of time in the hot sun.

I also ate some amazingly great food, and more of it than I normally do.

But I got up early, got an hour plus walk in with the hot morning sun in my face, and I'm chugging water.

I needed yesterday. But I also need today, and the next day, and a return to routine.

LFG

My Program, My Plan

Why did I make it a point to make a post signifying day 75?

I admittedly got a spark watching so many 75 Hard participants on their journey through that program. Read quite a bit about the program itself, its founder Andy Frisella and his philosophies about fitness and life.

My assessment is that it is a solid concept, but leaves a lot up to the participant to determine. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with that, it seems as though the folks who got into the weeds at some point throughout the challenge struggled most often with loose daily routines and a lack of specificity.

Being able to dictate which diet and workout regimen you follow allows people of all fitness levels, dietary restrictions, belief systems, etc. to go with what works best for them. That's great - no problems there. But it is a double-edged sword, in the sense that the BYOB diet and workout approach inadvertently introduces a mindset that whatever you are doing will suffice, so long as the basic criteria are met.

It clearly has worked for thousands of people, and their testimonials were and continue to be inspiring. But ultimately, the deeper that I dug into Andy's podcast, the less I liked his opinions and the less I agreed with his philosophies. He seems like a very successful businessman, but he's not exactly not my cup of tea.

And besides - anything that resembles a cult usually turns me off, and I'll just leave that where it is.

So I still picked up reading nonfiction books on the regular again. Do at least 2 workouts, with one of them being outside. Follow a diet. Drink at least a gallon of water every single day. Don't miss on my diet and workouts, ever. 

I don't take daily progress pics, because that feels performative vs. practical. I do weigh daily, which has helped me better track how specific eating practices and activities affect my fat loss effort.

What I'm doing for my own life improvement movement absolutely has some parallels with Mr. Frisella's brainchild, and I give credit where credit is due for it providing data points for me to analyze and be inspired by. But 75 days - while a fine way to help someone kickstart healthy habit changes - feels like I've barely gotten underway, even taking into account that I'm down around 40 pounds total since starting this.

Day 75 of Working Out

Today was less than ideal in some ways, incredible in others, but lessons were learned.

Poor night of sleep, but didn't let it stop me from getting on the road for an hour walk at 5:30 am.

Got my 1st meal from a gas station. May sound sus, but the selections are actually impressive. Grilled chicken, hard boiled eggs, meat and cheese trays, fruits, nuts, and 2 kinds of Greek yogurt (one drinkable). It was a chore, but the macros were amazing and the calories dead- on. The only drawback was the price. Should have planned better and meal prepped at home, but it couldn't be helped.

The rest of the day was a whirlwind. By the time dinnertime arrived, I'd only gotten a little over 10k steps and hadn't done any strength training. The original dinner plan got screwed up, so I went to a grocery store to pick up a few things. Made a bunch of awesome food, but by now it was 11pm and I still hadn't worked out. So I did my full leg workout, finished a few minutes before midnight, and made the decision to skip dinner tonight.

It sucks. Loads. It really does. But as much as muscle building is a big, big focus, fat loss is my main focus. And, in the name of fat loss, tonight we fast.

Good thing my one meal today was a doozy. Already thinking about eating tomorrow around noon - 24 hr fast is the order of the day, I guess.

Weekly weigh in

Down another 2 lbs.

I ate too much last night. Not so much so that it wasn't on plan, but it was more than I needed. Too many carbs, mainly. Guts been blowing up all night into the morning, and I'm pretty sure that I left around 2 lbs of progress at the kitchen table.

A pitty. But I'll rectify that in the coming week.

 Lesson learned.

Take Care Not to Care

Don't ever let someone's negative and unwelcome outside perspective touch the goodness that you've got inside of you.

People often don't give a second thought to your fragility. They're not there for the planning, the execution, the trials and tribulations. They don't know about the countless ups and downs. They don't see your hard work, and their opinion of your results may not align with their own vision of success.

Harden your heart, dull your senses, avert your gaze and attention from those things which do not push you forward. Everyone is not a member of your circle, so don't give them the best seats in the house.

Your energy is precious. Use it to make your life and the lives of those who matter the most better.

It's worth it... And then some.

Morning follow-up

Woke up naturally at around 5am, 30 min before my alarm.

And I lay there, contemplating.

My tracker says that I got 5h 40m of sleep. Feels dead accurate, and that is less sleep than is ideal.

My knee is aching a bit more. It was getting better, but I seem to have tweaked it again, somehow.

I'm tired. And I anticipate a challenging day at work.

Seemingly a million reasons for me to stay in bed.

But when my 5:30 alarm went off, I did not hesitate.

I made a promise to myself to go all in...

So I'm going all in.

No shortcuts. No cutting corners. No missed opportunities. All gas, no brakes.

Time to get moving.

70 Days of Weights

Decided to food prep way too many lbs of chicken breast this evening - prior to tonight's strength training, and immediately after a 30 min walk in the hot sun.

Started on the grill but barely got 1/3 of it on, and my energy was waning fast. Got 1/3 in the air fryer and the rest into the oven. All 3 were tasty, but the air fryer might have been the best (my grill wasn't hot enough, I think. Live and learn).

I got in more steps before hitting the weights... Or rather, before the weights hit me, repeatedly, and with conviction.

I almost quit a few times. Going back to lifting heavy after a week of lighter weight was both physically and psychologically hard. But I did it, to the fullest.

It hurt. Taxed me to a level I wasn't sure that I could still rise to in the decades since I was last super serious about lifting and doing it with metronomic consistency, day in and day out.

But I went there, and I made it back out again.

Barely.

But I did it. I'm here, I didnt sell myself short, and I'm better for the effort of having done it.

I'm beat. But this chicken is making it at least a bit better.

Week in review

I made the decision a week ago today to lower the weights for almost all of my lifts, and concentrate on form, slowing down (particularly on the negative portion) and full contraction pauses during my reps. Probably going back to lifting heavy this week though, as I finalize a few more profound changes to my lifting program that will be coming soon.

All in all, it was good for my joint health, my mental health, and just gave me enough of a change so as to get me through some challenging times.

Food wise, I kept things largely whole foods based and clean as always. Did a bit more food prep, which was just what I needed given the hectic work week.

I restricted my carbs a bit more on most days than has been normal recently. Still ate tons of protein, tons of fresh veggies (especially tons of greens) and some fruit. Upped my fiber a bit more.

It was a nice cycle change that I may stick with this week, too.

Movement wise - I have been averaging between 140k and 170k steps a week for a while now. This seems to be sustainable and pretty effective as far as me achieving my desired fitness goals. I haven't done as much intense mobility work as in weeks prior, but I still did enough to progress in that area overall. I need to find more pockets of time to fit a bit more in, though.

I have a list of to-do's that I want to accomplish today. Went to bed really early, got up really, really early, and I'm kind of in a weird space right now. I need to just get moving and not think too much... 

Sometimes thinking just gets in the way of doing.

Weigh Day

4 more lbs down.

I've had to remind myself a few times lately to stay in the moment, that this is a long journey, and not to project my thoughts too far into the future, and not to dwell on the past.

It's hard sometimes. But I'm managing to stick to that mindset more often than not.

I want to not only make this progress stick, but I want to take it further than I ever have.

But that only happens one step at a time.

Time tracking

69 days of eating right.

66 days of exercise.

100% committed, focused, and determined to take this as far as possible for as long as possible.

Marking this down to look back at later to see how well I've maintained this level of effort and consistency.

This close...

It was 10:30pm when I began tonight's strength training session.

Yes, I'd already gone past 20k steps for the day hours ago. Been active. Eaten the correct foods in the proper amounts. But I opted to have an earlier than normal dinner with the fam vs. lifting first then eating alone. Chilled a bit, took a short nap. Almost stayed down, considered saying I'd been very productive and deserved to skip a day.

Nah. Not gonna do that.

I haven't cut a corner this far in, and I'm sorry but today was NOT the day for it.

Killed a leg workout. Pushed my step count even higher. Did my daily core training.

Already up later than is ideal, and it'll be a couple hours before I wind down enough to go to bed. But it was 100% worth it to keep the streak alive.

LETS GO

Focus

It is super important to stay focused on your goals, and to carefully manage what you devote your time and energy to.

Sometimes, what appears to be innocent - even beneficial - can be an element of chaos as far as the efforts that you're taking towards self-improvement.

It is a work in progress to learn the lessons that our lives try to teach us. Sometimes it is easier than is at other times to navigate the path we've set for ourselves. Sometimes you encounter an influence that alters your path.

Honest internal discourse and not losing sight of the future that you wish to live in can help you remain aligned with your vision. Your intentions should be geared towards keeping the water flowing, and to help you to avoid that which might poison your own well.

Rising

To be aware of and contemplate the seemingly infinite, while attending to and remaining rooted in the seemingly miniscule.

This is the way.

Weigh in

2 more lbs down this week.

In dealing with my knee issues over the last couple weeks, I've done 4 recovery focused things.

1) Kept my step count lower (still over 20k but minus 3k per day average this week vs last week)

2) Eaten on the upper edge of my calorie allotment to give myself some extra fuel to promote healing.

3) Limited some mobility work and stretches that put too much stress on the injured area.

4) Modify a couple of leg exercises to both give the injury some space to heal properly and to strengthen and engage more of my stabilizing/accessory muscles.

Knee still isn't 100% but it getting better every day. And I still haven't missed a workout, cheated my diet, or slacked off on steps and cardio.

2 lbs down? I'll take it.

Lets GO.

Disruptions

Be stronger than the forces that would serve as inhibitors to your goals and intentions.

Block that shit out, Baby. Stay on your path, obstacles be damned.

Reloaded

Time to kick the week in the teeth.

LFG

Rest, recovery, and pain management

Really feeling it today.

Truthfully, this has been building up to this point for several days. Knee pain, ankle pain, hips/lower back pain. Feeling a bit inflamed. 

Might be dietary, as I've had more red meat over the last week than I have in the month prior. Had a bit more refined, high-glycemic carbs also. Neither of those are a smoking gun, but not much else would be different as far as eating goes.

Movements might be to blame. I have dropped dumbell leg curls from my leg workouts for the time being, as I first felt the pain during that movement. My hamstrings already get a lot of work via traditional squats, 45 degree lunges, the eccentric half of cable leg extensions, and Romanian deadlifts - all done in sequence via a superset, repeated 3x, twice each week - plus the 20k plus in steps 7 days a week.

Could absolutely be overwork. For now, a bit of ibuprofen, some mobility training, some ice therapy, and maybe less intensity as it relates to getting steps in will get me feeling right again.

I thought today would be a cakewalk with no weight training, but I've got some work to do in order to be ready for tomorrow.

Weigh Day

Down 4 more pounds this week.

That is more than I expected, and a welcome sight, given how hard this week was to navigate. But I'm still batting a thousand - no cheat foods, sticking to the plan, working my literal butt off, and showing up every day throughout the day.

LETS GO

Sleep breakthrough

7h 5m of sleep last night. That is a big win.

This comes after days of trying to regulate my nighttime routine and lock in on a set bedtime. Too early to tell if this'll stick, but here's hoping...

Also hit a new step count high of over 28k. Getting them in throughout the day really is the key to ramping up one's overall activity level.

I ate a few more carbs yesterday than was ideal. Still within my margins, and they were good carb sources, but not the best practice for me to have the best results for fat loss.

My muscles love it tho. Full glycogen stores have me feeling big and strong right now.

I practive progressive overload religiously, but I'm thinking it might be about time to switch up my training programming. It'll still be 6 days on and 1 day off, and the muscle groups trained on a given day will stay constant, but the movements, total sets and total reps may change.

Still mulling it over... We shall see.

Weigh day tommorow. Hoping for more positive results. I'm working too dang hard for anything less than consistent progress towards my fitness goals.

Day 50

Business as usual.

No ceremonial weigh in. No fanfare. Definitely no 'special treat', reward, or cheating.

Got up at 5:30 (incrementally getting up earlier and earlier), got in an long walk, drinking my water.

I will say this - feeling the changes and seeing my progress, and knowing that there is so much more to come - I am feeling very good about what the future holds, but I'm not going to become fixated on it.

One day at a time. The rest will take care of itself.

Resting while in motion

Recovery day.

Start of the new week, end of the previous week... It's all semantics. It's another day that I'm thankful to be living in, and to have an opportunity to see if I can be a better me than I was previously.

Another week of being 100% on my health and fitness plan is in the books. Micronutrients, macronutrient, intermittent fasting, water intake, mobility training, strength training - no cut corners, no missteps. Being focused and accountable each hour of the day, every day of the week. A thousand micro goals, blocks stacking on top of one another, each critical to what I'm building.

My sleep still isn't quite dialed in but 5 1/2 - 6 1/2 hours seems to be as good as it's going to get for now.

Had a 10k steps walk to start the day off, after starting Sat the exact same way. Going to get in a bit of mobility work before jumping in the shower.

No weight training today, which is welcome after last night's leg workout. A bit stiff in some places, sore in others. But it is not an unwelcome feeling; this time two months ago I couldn't be doing what I am capable of doing right now.

Two months from now, the same will be true... And that is fuel for the fire inside me.

How to train your diet

I don't generally get ravenously hungry or have major food cravings - unless something has disrupted my routine. And even then, its nothing like I felt before I began my current effort to get fit, where I'd often feel overcome with impulses that led to an almost out of control food frenzy and a propensity to over eat.

Thinking about it, so much of that centers (for me, at least) around not being active enough, not maintaining a schedule for meals, and not listening to my body.

For most of my adult life, I've generally preferred (and eaten) home cooked meals utilizing whole foods - meats, fresh veggies, etc. But I ate way too many high glycemic carbs, too many fried or high saturated fatty foods, and way too much highly processed convenience foods. Food volume was often an issue as well. And when I was hungry, I'd often eat a double portion or more to make up for not eating sooner.

There are an endless number of options when it comes to food choices, eating plans, exercise routines, etc. We all have our specific needs, preferences, tendencies, and intricacies - all the stuff that makes each of us unique. Being mindful, purposeful, and disciplined is helping me make profound changes to my behavior, and those aren't proprietary or esoteric philosophies.

We all have it in us. It is simply a matter of choosing, then doing - nothing more, nothing less.

Weigh day

3 more pounds down.

Dialed. In.

Now, time to get this fasted cardio in so that I can lose some more.

Body building, mind building

Long, challenging day.

I won't go into details, but the day started with a super stressful event. I took care of it, and didn't get too bent out of shape, despite the circumstances.

I attribute my resolve, focus and calm to these healthy habits that I've been so consistent with.

Had a heavier first meal, so I went light on meal two (protein shake w. PB powder). Got my gallon plus of water in too.

Tried A2 milk for the first time... I think its gonna be a new staple. I love my oat milk and will still keep it on hand too, but A2 is my new primary go-to for a direct regular milk replacement.

As far as exercise goes, I got in an hour of mobility work, a new high step count (over 28k), and a good strength training workout (chest, shoulders, biceps).

I'm beat. Time to decompress. Hoping the scale is nice to me in the morning, but we shall see.

Back in the saddle

Routine restored.

As grateful as I am to have stuck to my guns as far as food choices, training, and general activity yesterday, it felt very comforting and quite satisfying to get back to my standard weekday routine today.

Early morning cardio. First meal at noon. Hitting step goals each hour. But the day took a toll, and I had to take a nap after work. Upon waking, I got dinner started, and did strength training (leg day!) while everything was cooking.

Sitting down with the fam to eat is one of the highlights of my day, bar none. Tonight's meal was a fave - carnitas, cooked in the pressure cooker until they fall apart (about an hour and a quarter) then finished under the broiler for those crispy edges.

Everyone else had tortillas of varying types, but I opted to have mine in a bowl with some brown rice, fajita veggies, roasted corn, fresh made guac, a little sour cream, grated cheddar, and some fire roasted salsa. One thousand times better than what Chipotle charged me 15 bucks for last week, and way fresher and healthier.

Gonna get some more steps in, then a shower, then a little reading in bed before calling it a night.

Here's to me getting quality sleep so that I can hit it hard again tomorrow.

Celebration in moderation

Today I celebrated a life event with the fam, which involved both of my meals coming from restaurant food.

Meal 1 was just over 1400 calories. Meal 2 right at 1100. Higher than I would prefer, but still well within my allowances for the week.

Meals included lots of lean protein, some fresh veggies and fruit, and some decent complex carbs with a bit of fiber. Overall sugar content was too high for my tastes, though still not out of control.Thankfulky it was all whole foods based with minimal processing, which is a big win.

Not allowing myself to go off the rails with bad choices challenged my mental resolve considerably, but I stayed true to my commitment to health, and I'm proud of that. I can live with my choices without regret, save that in hindsight I wish I'd had smaller portions in meal 1.

My eating times were disrupted, as both meals were much earlier in the day than is the norm for me. So tonight after strength training there was no post-workout meal. I know that is less than ideal - especially when considering that my workout started almost 6 hours after my last meal had been consumed. But there was zero chances of me taking in more calories today... That simply wasn't gonna happen under any circumstances.

It wasn't easy, but I got my gallon of water in, remembered to take my vitamins, and still managed to get 20k steps in to boot. All while managing some quality time with loved ones and two cat naps.

Overall, a banger of a day. Still, it will be nice getting back to the normal routine tomorrow.

Intensity & Consistency

Another week of solid workouts in the books. 

I am careful to train intensely, but since I'm hitting each muscle group 2 times a week, I push things without taking it too far and risking injury or overtraining. It has been a challenge, but so far I've been able to manage it quite well.

There have been times where I've felt sleepy or  low energy, or had my schedule thrown off by something, or had some sort of a minor ache or pain; each time, the events in question seemed like valid reason enough to blow off a workout. But each time I ignored the negative thoughts and went harder in my workout than I thought myself capable of being able to do just a few minutes prior. 

That is something that has become a great source of inspiration and strength.

Today has been possibly the most physically taxing day in weeks, as I did several hours of yardwork in the full sun, on possibly the hottest day of the year so far.

So much for rest. But that calorie burn tho!

Weekend loading....

3 hours left in the workweek. 13k steps in. Half a gallon of water down.

Still not getting enough sleep (to my liking), but I rested better and felt more refreshed this morning than I have in a while.

Feeling good. Could use a nap, but maybe I can go to bed early tonight instead.

Weigh day

3 more pounds down.

Lets GO!!!!

Observations and Appreciation

I had after work commitments that threw my nightly routine for a loop. Luckily I'd gotten 16k steps in by the end of my work day, so I was going to end with at least a respectable total by the bedtime.

I picked up dinner from one of the local steakhouses. I got an 8oz sirloin with a house salad as both of my sides. All in all, 960 calories was pretty spot-on for my 2nd and final meal.

Before I was able to eat, though, I had to get a good workout in.

The urge to just blow it off was strong: it had gotten pretty late, and I was feeling more than a little frayed around the edges. But I got down to it and got it done. I pushed myself, and I didn't take any shortcuts.

After that was all said and done, I took my time and thoroughly enjoyed dinner, which felt well-earned by that point.

Today has started off a bit hectic: slept less than I wanted, a bit achey, already behind on steps, and work is a bit tense... But I have a solid foundation to stand on, that I've built up over the last 41 days.

It will be a good, productive, health-centric day. I will get it all in - steps, mobility, strength training, hydration, nutrition, etc. - obstacles and challenges be damned.

Food volume and daily tracking

I have recently been less fussy with weighing and calculating all of my food in such a hard-core manner. I've been instead opting for visual calculations and minimal cross referencing, relying on my experience and instincts to make sure that my meals align with my targets.

I allow for some wiggle room as far as total calories for each meal, so long as I'm in the ballpark by EOD while still being at a slight deficit.

Admittedly, I have begun tracking how effective my methods are in another way.

I've begun weighing myself each morning. Not on the scale that connects to wifi and auto tracks, but another scale that just gives a readout. Seeing the incremental changes has really helped me dial things in - water intake, salt intake, which foods are giving me inflammatory responses and causing water retention...  As much as I've dumped all over the daily weigh-in in the past, it is proving to be a valuable tool for me right now.

The big thing for me though has been consistency. No cheating on my diet, no missed workouts, high levels of activity, frequent mobility training, tons of water, and trying to remain focused on the grind, not the finish line.

Rest and recovery

It's been a super chill Sunday.

Got up and did around and hour and a half walk first thing. Just over 10k steps, and it was hot and humid early. I came in and did a full yoga routine over something like 45 minutes, then ate my first meal - leftovers from last night + a nice pile of kimchi.

Went out shopping with the fam for several hours, then we hit up Golden Coral for a realy early Father's Day dinner. They were not at their best, but I was.

Water. Baked chicken breast, a bit of roast beef, a baked potato, and a big spinach salad with cucumber, oil, and vinegar.

Far and away the cleanest meal I've eaten at that place in at least 6 or 7 years. I was quite pleased with myself.

Came back home and enjoyed some more time with the fam. Everyone is doing their own thing now... I have slight cravings which are likely a combination of eating so early and being under on hydration a bit.

A bit over 16k steps for the day at current. I think I'm good with my activity level and want to wind down for the night. It's been a good day, and I could use a good night's sleep before hitting it hard again to begin the work week.

What's old is new again

I decided to pick up a container of Fairlife milk yesterday. Tonight, I finished my workout early by recent standards, and decided to take the fam out vs eating at home. I knew that, ideally, I needed to ingest some protein right away, so I dug out my container of protein powder from storage and made a shake with my new milk, a bit of powdered cocoa and some honey.

First protein shake since I've been on this diet.

For dinner, I went to a Chinese buffet and made a carryout plate filled with rice, lots of veggies, and a few types of chicken.

Maybe the first time ever that my plate cost the minimum and didn't have a surcharge due to its heft. Also likely the first time I didn't get an egg roll, fried spring roll, or crab rangoon.

Even better, I only ate half of it. It is a completely different experience than so many times in the past, to the point where it feels a bit surreal.

I started my recent health kick not long after getting Chinese takeout; I remember eating just some of of my plate and portioning the rest into leftover containers. 

This feels like the completion of a circle in a way, though the actual journey itself is just getting underway.

Well see how tonight's choices treat me tomorrow.

Weigh day

3 more pounds down. I'll take it.

Yesterday was the hardest day so far. I felt terrible physically and had brain fog. Only got to 19k steps - just didn't have much in the tank from waking to bedtime. Took forever to get through my nightly work out also, but I eventually did.

In hindsight, Chipotle wasn't the best idea. My guts were not happy with me all throughout the day and evening yesterday, and I believe whatever was happening down there sapped my energy.

Lesson learned. Sticking to home cooking, as it is what has gotten me this far. If I have to do takeout, it won't be Chipotle again anytime soon.

LFG

Take away take aways

I felt like I needed to eat fewer carbs today. I have not necessarily been carb-restricted so far, just being mindful about how they are sourced. 

Little to no highly processed foods or refined sugars, lots of high fiber whole foods, and low glycemic index foods whenever possible.

By the time the evening rolled around I was low energy, a bit behind on steps, and mentally struggling. There were prepped food choices here but I needed something different. And so, I packed up the fam and we got take out.

First time not eating home prepared food since before I began this current effort. I chose Chipotle - a burrito bowl, no rice, double protein, fajita veggies, pico, and romaine. And no guac or sour cream, which just feels wrong but I know was the right choice.

As far as options go, this was a pretty clean choice.

I got home and caught up on steps, finished a really tough leg workout, then ate my food. Honestly, it wasn't all that - I believe my tastes have changed. I have made quite a few bowls as of late - mine are leagues better, top to bottom.

Not gonna make a habit out of this by any means. I'm glad I had the discipline to make a healthy choice, at least.

So tired. But I need to get about 2500 more steps before calling it a night.

Day 30 pt 2

Up to 19k; 25k is within my sights.

Good, hard workout. Solid dinner.

I'm beat - both mentally and phisically - so I don't think getting sleep tonight will be an issue.

Ran errands on my lunch break, and the entire affair was a lot more fiddley than it should have been. Got it sorted and came home to finish out the workday, a hich seemed to drag.

Took a short nap, then went to the local grocery store for dinner proteins for a few days. Cooked, then got in an hour or sobof steps before I began lifting.

Hopefully I can get 6k leisurely steps in well before midnight. An earlier bedtime would be awesome.

Day 30

New week.

Was up half the night and slept in vs getting steps in. Trying to catch up, but it is a struggle.

Yesterday was a good 'rest day'. Got 18k steps, did a lot of mobility work and some meditation. Ate clean, and on time. The only missing component was a good night's sleep between then and now.

Feeling good and a touch worn down at the same time. Will see what the week brings.

Pain is love... ?

Feeling mentally as strong as I've felt in ages.

Still no dietary deviations, no missed workouts. Hitting my movement and mobility goals daily as well.

I knew today's adventures might take me away from the homeplace, so I got in roughly 2 hours of walking this morning.

Went shopping at one of my favorite grocery stores. Temptation was literally everywhere, but most of my focus was centered in the produce section and everything I got for myself fit my eating plan.

My feet are trashed. Lots of standing and walking, but the long drive actually seemed the most harsh on them.

Came home later than desired, worked legs, ate dinner, then got to 25k steps just before midnight.

I am really looking forward to getting some rest and recuperation tomorrow. My body really needs it.

Weekend vibes

Woke up (as has been usual this week, by design) at 5:15, no alarm. Didnt get up.

Dismissed 5:55 alarm.

Sleeping in (a.k.a. laying here mindlessly but wide awake) until I feel like getting up, then I'll blast out some steps, do some yoga, and plan out today's activities.

Last night's bowl might have been too much. Chicken meatballs, sesame tofu, white bean salad, basmatti rice, spring mix with olive oil and salt, kimchi, and feta.

It was delicious, nutrient dense, and a perfect fit relative to the calories and macros that I needed. But I was late working out, and it sat heavy on my stomach. Even with plenty of movement once it settled a bit, I felt a bit bloated. Still feel very full upon waking.

I'll blame the beans, onions, and garlic. Could have been just the volume of food, or the combo of components. Definitely a meal for earlier in the day going forward.

All in all, despite that, the day finished better than I expected. Got some harmony restored by sending out the energy I needed others to present, and that seemed to work. Rough spots notwithstanding, it was a successful day.

I hate cortisol

Folks will see you having a good day and just be like 'Not so fast! Let me say some crazy shit right quick to mess it up!'.

Smh.

Weight loss update

4 more pounds down.

Dialed IN

LFG

Days on end

There was a time in my life where consistency and commitment as it relates to my fitness was esentially my superpower.

No days off. Stick to the plan. Fight the voices telling you that you can't, or shouldn't. More than motivated  - dedicated.

Somewhere in the years since, that approach shifted to working, not working out. To being solid for those in my inner circle. And for a good stretches a couple of decades ago, just to trying to keep my wits in the insane environments that I allowed myself to wander into.

One day at a time. One workout at a time. One meal at a time. One step at a time. I'm redirecting some of that power back to where it used to be. And I'll do it without sacrificing in any other area of my life, because I'm older and wiser now.

Weigh day in the morning. Had about 1100 calories for breakfast - baked chicken, a salad, and a bowl of oatmeal. Up to 17k steps this afternoon, will get as many more in as I can before bedtime, and a weight training session sometime between now and dinner. I'll sweat a lot, eat something reasonable, try for a good night's sleep, and see what my effort in the week previous has wrought.

Afterglow

Headache is gone.

Dominated tonight's leg workout. No cutbacks... went harder than last time.

Dinner was a sheet pan meal I'd made for the fam, which was fresher than my meal prep stuff in the fridge: 2 roasted chicken thighs, asparagus, and some roasted potatoes. I added a pile of sauerkraut for some probiotics and some diced avocado because it was perfectly ripe.

Just hit 25k steps. Now to wind down so that I can get some solid sleep and get up early again.

Mid week pain

Today has been hard.

The last time I tried getting back into a solid fitness routine, I hurt myself working out. Since I started this current effort, there have been days of aches, soreness, but nothing major. I have relished my ability to recover in between workouts, despite eating at a calorie deficit.

Add to that a six day a week weightlifting schedule, over 20,000 steps a day (took a couple weeks to biuld up to that), and having an active recovery day that is not really an 'off day' at all, and it's remarkable (and fortuitous) that I'm able to go as hard as I have been.

I say all of that to say that I have been getting mild headaches in the afternoon for the last few days.

My first guess was not enough calories, but I'm pretty sure that's not it. I've had a 900 calorie first meal the last two days, which is plenty. And with a whole foods based, clean eating, macronutrient minded approach, it's not likely a deficit there either.

My water intake is also on point, so its not dehydration - at least not in the traditional sense.

I think its my electrolyte balance.

I have been adding a bit of table salt and lemon to some of my afternoon waters. I dont want to invest in an electrolyte suppliment, but if I cant figure this out before week's end I will go that route.

I can usually shake the ache by the time my nightly workout arrives, but not today. Thought for a half second about taking the night off...

But nah. That ain't happening.

Taking it slow. Just getting underway. But I'll be damned if I miss a workout for this.

Gonna go as hard as I can, until I got nothing left in the tank. Just glad that I had the presence of mind to shop smart and do a fair amount of food prep over the last few days so that I can refuel quickly and correctly after I'm done.

Day 25

Day 25 - still 100% locked in. No missteps. If anything, it feels like I'm gaining momentum.

The routines are solid, but not inflexible. Tweaking movements, schedules, etc to ensure that I've still ticked all the boxes by the end of each day. Making sure that my recovery and general body maintenance is being emphasized just as much as training intensity is.

I keep reminding myself to stay in the moment.

Don't project myself into a future me, and don't dwell on the past me. Just BE - prepare, execute, and repeat.

Time can play tricks with your mind. It can warp your vision, your memories, your feelings about things. If there is 'one neat trick' to anything in this life, then it is staying present.

Take a second. Take a breath. Whatever we gotta do to remain in and focus our energies on the here and now.

New month, same consistency

May was super successful fitness-wise, and I am determined to keep the same mindset into June.

Diet/nutrition, water intake, mobility training, weight training, and daily step count/movement has been flawless; no cheat foods, no missed meals, no missed workouts. 

Increasing step counts and movement istensity daily. Progressive overload in my lifts via both rep count and weight.

High variety in my meals as it relates to food-based protein sources, fresh veggies, good carbs, and fresh fruit. Almost exclusively whole foods, with minimal processed or convenient foods.

I'm not feeling stressed about my routine. Not having cravings, and, I've been strong in the face of temptation. Good digestion, great energy levels, and mental clarity. Positive outlook each day, while keeping the future in sight.

The one area that needs to see some improvement is sleep. I have a to-do list that I will work on implementing, and we'll see how that goes.

As for right now in this moment, I'm gonna finish this breakfast burrito (one of the best I've ever made) and green salad, and relax for a bit before some afternoon yoga.

Weight loss update

4 more lbs down.

LFG

Hard work vs working out

Another solid day of eating and exercise.

Did a few hours of laborious yard work right after work today. Then took the kids out for pizza (just for them, not me), came back home and hit the weights good and hard.

Didn't think I had it in me (again) but in the end my mind willed my body to do what needed to be done.

Super light dinner - chicken, wild rice, and fresh greens dressed lightly with olive oil and white wine vinegar.

Working some tonight. Lots of waiting around, so I'm getting some steps in during the downtime. I cannot wait till its over and I get to go to bed, I'm absolutely beat. 

Tomorrow marks three weeks in. Will weigh when I wake up. Still super early in what will be a long journey, but I'm still very optimistic about my long-term prognosis.

Push, push

Another long day that was beset with challenges that came in all shapes and sizes.

Wasn't sure what my body was willing to give me, but had some good, intense stretches of activity as work allowed. Had a lot of food in meal one, just north of a thousand calories. All of it was healthy, nutrient dense food, and there were a ton of fresh veggies included. But still - it was more actual food than I have become accustomed to eating in a meal, and I felt it.

Almost crashed at the end of the work day, but settled for a 20 min power nap and got back to being active.

Tonight was leg day; was unsure if I had it in me. I was interrupted several times amid fighting my own internal battles, but I still crushed it, increasing the weight on several lifts while keeping up my rep count.

Having a sensible dinner to account for the massive meal earlier, and will get it some more steps and mobility work in when my food has had a bit to settle. Then a shower, then bed.

Week three is halfway done; no cheat meals, no snacking, no missed workouts. Happy about that, and hoping I keep this up for a long time.

Rough day

Today was rough life-wise, and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Stayed on point food-wise, had a heavy weight training session. Did a full yoga session and lots of mini mobility workouts. Due to the aforementioned difficulties I got less movement in than yesterday, but still well above my daily goal.

Physically and mentally spent. Off to bed.

No work, but working

Had a lovely day of no weight training that I utilized to do lots of movement (almost 10 miles) and mobility work.

I almost blew it with yesterday's first meal - made what amounted to an almost 1400 calorie burrito. Turkey sausage, eggs, sweet potato and a ton of veggies couldn't offset the wrap itself, the cheese, the sour cream and the guac. 

It had to weigh a couple pounds, at least.

Dinner was a clean sub 400 with rotisserie chicken, green beans, exactly one and a half roasted fingerling potatoes, a little sourdough, and some tzaziki just for kicks.

Lesson learned, though - no matter how much good you cram in a wrap or burrito, it can still quickly add up. I still ended the day in a calorie deficit so all was well.

Meal one today came in right at 750 calories - much, much more reasonable. Moving from Dave's bread to fresh sourdough feels like the right move... Had more this morning along with two fried eggs, turkey breakfast meats, and a big green salad with apple and feta.

Will be doing a couple slabs of ribs later for the holiday. That will be a post-workout meal if all goes to plan. I might have some careful balancing to do in order to keep it sensible and remain at a deficit for today, too.

Grooving

Had a day planned which took me out of the house for a bit. Got in extra steps and planned our departure right after my first meal.

While out I resisted loads of temptation. Picked up supper from Whole Foods; actually made a nice plate filled with veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. In the face of delicious pastries, fantastic pizza, sushi, and a line of classic southern cafeteria fare, I ate the right foods in the right amounts.

Since getting back home I've gotten lots more movement in and crushed a leg workout. A few more steps before midnight to put a ribbon on another successful day working on my fitness.

Tomorrow is a day with no weight training, but gonna keep up high movement, eating right, and I'll make it a great one.

P.S. Eating before my nightly weight training session is definitely less than ideal. It almost derailed everything, but it couldn't be helped today.

Just glad that I kept to my process otherwise... Also it proves that small disruptions don't have to be stumbling blocks.

Mind games

Been deep in my head the past 24 hours. Dealing with some external factors as well.

Remained on point with eating, activity, and exercise despite it all.

Things took a more positive turn towards the end of a day, which allowed some mental unwinding to occur, which in turn allowed for a pretty solid (at least by my standards) night of sleep.

Up alone in the house for the first few hours to start the day. It's raining outside, and its therapeutic in a way. Watching fitness YouTube again, as I seem to do so much lately... Looking for something, anything. But I've no clue what, precisely.

I need to meditate. And stretch.

Progress check 2

2 more down.

This is what the so-called experts say is the healthy amount to lose each week. But I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit disappointed.

It's progress, though... I'll take it.

I know a few tweaks to make.

Lets see how next week looks.

It was... A day.

Meant to write earlier. Almost forgot completely.

It's been a long day. Rewarding and fulfilling in some ways, frustrating and deflating in others.

Eating, movement, and workouts all on point. Weigh day in the morning. My body is sore from head to toe. Pushing through, but need some serious recovery, and soon.

I will figure it out. In the meantime, sleep.

Tired

An unexpected medical issue with a loved one threw last night in a spin cycle.

I didn't hit my step target yesterday as a result. I got close by the time midnight rolled in, and that was a struggle.

My target is double what my daily goal is set to on my fitness tracking apps. So I'm far from slacking, but its still annoying.

Sleep quality was a mixed bag. Felt it all day today. Dealt with some non work issues throughout the work day in addition to a high stress day at work.

Feeling the weight from so much right now.

Pushed through to get in my minimum goal for steps. Did a full mobility work session. Did my strength training, albeit a bit reduced intensity and duration.

Made an eclectic but incredibly nutrient dense supper that hit my calorie and macro targets, super high in fiber.

And now I'm crashing... Mentally shot. I need real sleep tonight. Really, really need it, in the worst way.

Stern test

I got just under an hour and a half of sleep last night, right before it was time to start my day. I had a lot on my mind. And, unfortunately for me, the timing of this impromptu bout of insomnia was utterly dreadful.

I will say, though - had I not been in the healthy groove that I've established over the last couple of weeks, I don't think I'd have been physically able to make it through it all.

Today was day 1 of a 3-day training course that I signed up for at work. It's something that's been a long time coming, as I've pursued this course for as long as I've been with this company. I wasn't going to miss it for anything, but more than that, I needed to be ready to take it all in and make the most of the opportunity.

I was present, attentive, and performed at the top of the class. I got some steps in throughout the day, did mobility work during breaks, and nailed my 1st meal and water intake.

At the end of the workbday I took a 2 hour nap, which I sorely needed. Afterwards I got up and made dinner for the fam, then spent almost two hours getting in more steps, more mobility work, and a solid lift.

I just had meal 2 - leftover roasted chicken, air fryer broccoli, a microwave baked sweet potatoes, half an apple, some cottage cheese, and a handful of nuts.

Gonna try and push my step count a bit higher when my food settles, then its off to shower and then hopefully to bed.

Today, I felt like saying 'screw it' and take the easy way out. Instead, I gutted it out and made progress towards both my professional and personal goals.

What a day.

Counting, counting

I am interested to see what the scale will say on Friday morning for a few reasons.

I have been 100% on my exercise and eating  - sticking precisely to what I planned out. But there's a hint of doubt that somehow I've miscalculated, and I need to make adjustments.

I don't know why I do this to myself.

Good day of eating. High activity throughout the day. Great weightlifting session tonight. Got plenty of water.

Zero reason to doubt, except these creeping thoughts that have come out of nowhere.

Slave to the scale. I hate feeling this way. Hopefully it is a fleeting mindset.

This ain't an overnight thing. I know this. Some weeks will feel unproductive if I only base success on that damn scale.

I know I'm putting the effort in. That has to be what I stay focused on - the grind itself, not the finish line.

'Off' day

No weights today, but increased my step count, had an hour long yoga session, and played some basketball outside.

Dinner entrée was baked halibut with herbs, lemon and capers, pan roasted broccoli with garlic and soy sauce, herbed couscous, and sautéed cremini mushrooms.

My 'supplimenta'l dish (to get me up to my target calories and daily macros) was some greek yogurt with fresh strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries, a drizzle of honey, and one spoon each of flax and chia seeds.

Feel like I ate too much, despite knowing full well that I'm still at a calorie deficit for the day. Maybe its because I wasn't eating post workout as per normal? Really not sure... It was probably the fiber, between the broccoli and those berries. Or maybe my actual stomach is shrinking a bit since I'm not overeating and stretching it out.

Looking forward to getting back to training tomorrow.

Full week of workouts

I did the full 6 day weight training cycle after all. 3 workouts on days 1-3, repeating the same 3 on days 4-6.

As cooked as my legs were after Wednesday, their recovery since was nothing short of miraculous. I attribute that mainly to the frequent activity all throughout the day; lots of steps and targeted mobility work.

My commitment to good nutrition likely also played a part, as did the volume of water I'm drinking in support of the aforementioned activities.

Regardless, I was able to go all-out with tonight's workout. It felt like a major accomplishment, given how unlikely going through with it seemed even just a day ago.

Afterwards, I had a nice, clean dinner of roasted chicken, green beans, basmatti rice, and some Greek yogurt with hemp and chia seeds.

I'll get some more steps and mobility work in before bedtime, as has been my routine. It all seems to be working in concert to keep me going hard and staying on point.

Planning for an active recovery day tomorrow... Then the weight training resumes on Monday.

Adapt, overcome

There were days where certain obstacles would throw me off to such a degree that I would either have a crappy workout, wouldn't work out at all, or stress eat my feelings away.

Today was NOT one of those days.

Blasted through that noise like a freakin' boss. Got my weight training in, and it was another stellar session. Increased my step count yet again. Ate super clean, proper portion sizes, and on time.

I am stronger than I was this time last month. I can feel it. Mentally, physically, spiritually. I may falter at some point, but I feel capable and commited to the task.

Not today, Satan... Not today.

Progress check

Debated on how much to share, but... Well, screw it.

Down 5 pounds in a week.

I don't go around feeling self conscious about my body, or my weight gain. I could give two shits about what 99.9999% of the people in the world think or say. But someone close to me has made several comments that don't sit right with me at all.

This isn't about appeasing them, or proving anything to anyone other than myself, or some vanity project.

But honestly, fuck other people's negativity and their need to let their bullshit spew onto those around them. Seriously - fuck that.

Breathe... Refocus.

Now, back at it.

Think this is the weekend I finally get my heavy and speed bags set up. I need to punch things really hard, and boxing is excellent cardio.

Pushing through

Didn't take today off after all. Had a great workout, in fact.

Eating was again on point. Satiated, no cravings. High energy for my workouts.

Mobility training is still going strong. Soreness from lifting presents an extra degree of difficulty, but the stretches should help with recovery (hopefully... I'm really sore).

If I remember to do it upon waking, I may weigh tomorrow. Trying not to become scale obsessed, but I feel having a revised baseline is important for the sake of accountability, and to see if I need to make a few tweaks.

I might be overdoing it on fitness YouTube. It is super informative but also kinds toxic.

Workout cycle #1 - done

3 consecutive days lifting weights. Average gym time is around 30 minutes. Good intensity. Pushing my muscles, lungs, and endurance in a good way.

I designed this program to repeat over the next three days, which would be six days on, one day off for the week. Seriously rethinking that decision, as I'm toast right now. Today was leg day, but I'm feeling it, from head to toe.

Might have to admit that I'm not a fit 20-something and take a day off from the weights tomorrow.

Eating is still on point. Finding portion control is easier (at least for now) when everything is sorted into two only meals. Did some food prep in the way of cooking a few pounds of chicken breast. Lots of fresh fruit and veggies. Calories are dialed in, but I may shift my macros around a bit. Will see how well my current setup works for recovery. Also will reintroduce suppliments soon, which will include finding a new multivitamin.

I'm just blabbing now. I need to sleep way more, but suspect it'll be difficult tonight - I'm THAT sore.

Small victories

I did the workout.

I will be sore tomorrow, probably... But that was a big mental hurdle to clear.

Been the most active day in a while overall. Lots of steps in. Got up from my desk more throughout the day vs. sitting for hours on end without standing. Got in some good stretches of mobility work, too.

Made a pretty fab dinner - ponzu marinated salmon with a soy drizzle, roasted potatoes, and a nice mixed green salad with a soy-ginger vinaigrette.

Got more steps and mobility work in after dinner.

Just a banner day. I needed to see myself doing this, to rekindle my self-belief.

I can sustain this. Just a matter of actually doing it.

Planning for success

He did not, in fact, tighten up a bit...

At least, he didn't right away...

I've had most of my success when I 1)planned meals ahead of time and 2) kept a bevy of prepared foods on hand. As of about a week ago I've gotten back to doing that religiously.

I've also gotten back to intermittent fasting (on most days), and getting my calorie and macro goals in via 2 meals daily (on most days).

I'm inspired right now. That is a step in the right direction. Now, to see how I feel about tonight's workout - first time back on the weights since I injured myself right after my last post.

Progress is Circular

I was inspired by a YouTuber (that has worked out less often than not) and switched up my resistance training plan for something more challenging, a bit more scientifically proven, and something that will hopefully keep me engaged for the next few months.

Only a couple of workouts in... Way too early to tell whether or not it's a good plan for me at this particular juncture, but I needed the change up. Had a bad day psychologically to end last week, and I've struggled with consistency as far as my daily activity and focus are concerned this week.

I have had ups, and downs. But I'm doing right 80-90% of the time, which is better than I've been doing for a long time now.

I'll take that bit of progress, thank you very much. Here's hoping that I can tighten up a bit over the next couple weeks and really get in a good groove.

Struggle Bus

Not sure if I should be staying this sore. Going to try upping my protein a bit to see if it helps with recovery.

3 consecutive days of 10k+ steps and over 60 minutes of activity. That is the bar now, the bare minimum.

Spreading it out over several sessions really is key at this point in my life.

Reckonings

Cravings. Extreme soreness. Self-doubt.

Yeah, it's all very familiar. All undeniably potent, enough to knock one off of one's path - if allowed to do so.

Not gonna lie - this is so much harder than it's ever been. Barely under way, and to be struggling like this?

Gonna learn some stuff about this version of me real quick.

Take # 47

Ok. Let's try this again.

This time with feeling.

Sponsored Program

100% being purposefully obtuse here... I'm undertaking a sponsored fitness program after completely losing motivation over the last several months of half-assed efforts.

Yesterday was day 1. Calorie watching, no snacking, lots of water. The food itself was a combination of nutritional supplements and whole foods. I wasn't really hungry at all.

Slept GREAT last night. Having an OK start to the day today.

I'm afraid of the scale, but I have to do it in order to benchmark everything. Also, the program requires pretty disciplined tracking, and I have an accountability coach.

Why something like this, given how much success I've had forging my own path in the past?

Because I've become incredibly  undisciplined at this point in my life, and I needed to do something before it's too late.

Sounds a bit dramatic, but 47 is on the horizon. The clock ain't tickin' backwards. It's time, or I'm gonna be out of time before I know it.